This is my first post. I am 28 years old and basically live most of my young life either pretending to be straight or trying my hardest to be straight. I grow up always crushing on other guys throughout high school and college, but always tried for girls. I have had some minor sexual feelings for certain women but its rear and few and far between. I have come to the conclusion to label myself bi with a strong presence for guys and emotional crushes have been only other guys. So I think some would pretty much say I'm Gay. At 26 I started to come out to my friends (who are straight) about my gay feelings and overall they been pretty cool about it but also shocked. Things got complicated with one of them because I felt the need to admit my feelings for him. He also was my best friend from high school. We were able to talk to it out and its almost like we have a mutual understanding each other feelings(I can't help feeling for him and he can't help his straight feelings). However, I wish it could of ended up being more. It like a depressing unquieted love thing...but I am finally getting over this. So anyway that was brief background but here is where I need a advice. I feel like I hit a wall :bang: moving forward. I have yet to go to gay bars. I was on online dating for a while but nothing has really come from it. Im not out out..just the people I have to talk to about it. I still get this ashamed feeling from it. I always feel like it would be easier being straight because things can just happen naturally. I feel like literally everyone I have had feelings for or would want to date has beens straight. I feel like its impossible to meet people without putting myself extra out there, and I am really shy person so its hard for me. Its put me in state looniness and depression and I want to break free. Has anyone else been in my situation. How did you get out of it? any advice will help.. Also I have this crush on Dlyan O brain and I feel guilty about it. Is it alright for a 28 year old to crush on a guy like that...
