As the title says, I know I'm gay but I'm just not interested in "gay" culture. I find when I hang out with gay people or go to LGBT meet-ups mostly what I hear about is sex, sex, sex. I'm tired of it. Not meaning to be offensive, just being honest. Is there an easier way to meet and/or date other gay people without having to be pigeon-holed into the scene and the stereotypes?
I guess my first question would be how wide is your exposure? I only ask because I find particularly at the beginning a lot of times people will generalize the experience they had with a particular group of people or a particular venue. It's easily done and sometimes can just mean you need to find other groups of people. I would say that I was a pretty traditional "scenester" for years and I really didn't find it to be obsessed with sex. Now the one thing I never really did was the computer stuff--apps, dating sites and the like--and it does seem like the anonymity of all that does lend itself to what you are talking about. Maybe I just dodged the bullet there. I did all sorts of other gay activities--book groups, charity work, political organizing, cheering on sports teams--and none of it seemed particularly sexualized to me, but then again I never really found the bar scene to be all that hypersexualized either. Whoever you are, there are others of you out there. Try not to be too dismissive and you'll find them.
When I first joined dating sites/apps, I found a lot of what mlansing is posting about. But like OGS said, once you get off of those apps, you find a lot of people like yourself. There are a lot of guys out there who want to date and are just fairly regular guys. I've met more than my fair share of "scenesters," but I've also met as many (if not more) people like myself. As you find in Youtube comments, anonymity brings out the worst in people. Don't get apps/sites be your only exposure to the LGBT community because there are a LOT of good people out there.
Thanks guys. I probably shouldn't generalize too much from the few experiences I've had. I am pretty new to coming out, after all.
My best friend and I found it hard to get into the local Pride club at college because they would often go to clubs and that is just sooo not our scene haha, but through more general clubs (like he joined a volleyball team) we've met some cool, non straight people who have interests more like ours.
Something else to keep in mind here too. Young people who have come to terms with their sexuality, or are beginning that stage, understandably may talk more about sex, sex, sex. And why not? They probably had to hide that aspect of themselves for years, but now, they can be open about it -- it's playing catch up, so to speak. And, of course, some people are sex-focused. You'll find that in any orientation. In fact, straight males are often the center of these types of jokes and assumptions.
Like mansing I’m just not into “sex sex sex” I’m more interested in a good relationship, but then again I’ve been described as a “closet romantic” Having said that there are a lot of other things to "gay" culture than ####### and "bath houses". I generally feel more comfortable being in a gay community. As being gay is becoming more acceptable where I live "gay couture" it is becoming less ghettoised and young gays are more lightly to meet some one in a traditional bar or night club than before. I would suspect that when being gay stops being a problem the split will be romantic people vs. randy sods! :music:ride::music:
