Well I almost came out to my therapist today but then I chickened out and just couldnt tell her, everytime I feel like telling someone, I just forget how to talk. I want my therapist to know so she can actually know the source of my anxiety. I researched the effects of keeping a secret like this over so many years and all of the symptoms and anxiety match mine, and my anxiety started when I first realized I was gay. So i am sure that if I tell her, then she can really begin to help me cope with it, I just cant seem to get the words out of my mouth. It is so freakin frustrating!!
Hey, You are moving in the right direction. Coming out to your therapist is a first step and so much of a breath of fresh air. But also hard. I hardly slept two nights before coming out to my therapist. Remind yourself of you inner desire to heal from anxiety and become free. Then - in time - you will find the courage to speak out. It's only a matter of when you will do it. Because you will do it. Good luck
That's how I was when I first tried to tell my therapist. It took me a few months before I could get it out but I finally did. It's kinda funny looking back, I was unnecessarily nervous. If it helps your therapist has probably heard it before and she'll be able to help you so much once she knows. Deep breath! You can do it.
What you are going through is normal. If I had a euro for every time I froze and was unable to talk when I tried to come out, I'd be rich. Coming out takes bravery. I knew several high level black-belt martial that had no problem being attacked with a sword but wouldn't do something that would get people to laugh at them in their local pub. So just know that you are braver than some so-called hard men. I can tell you it gets easer every you come out to someone. But in the meantime be kind to yourself. (*hug*)
Nick, Having been in your shoes I can honestly tell you - your therapist probably already knows. If the struggle that is keeping you from saying the words, "I am gay." Why not just write it on a piece of paper and hand it to him/her. Good luck in your journey, trust in the process. -J