About a month ago I accept that I was gay and have been trying to deny it for about 4 year.when I realised that I was gay it was the biggest relief ever and feel much more lively because of it. The only reason I kept denying it because of my dad and brother (I don't know if my brother is homophobic because I think he's only saying these things so that he stay on my dads side). Being in a very homophobic environment I guess it just started putting pressure on me and that's why I deny it for so long . I don't really speak as much as my mum but I still love them. The only reason I don't know is if I should come out now is because my mum said something to me. She said "that's gay and i know your not gay and if you were I would hate it "after I said the cheerio jokingly. I thought she would be on my side. I thought see wouldn't care as much as my dad but I guess she homophobic as well. Also why did she say that over something so simple and dumb. Dose she know some how and it was a threat? I feel so lost now because I want to come out before my brother goes of to France to work for 3 months(in January). I feel so down in the dumbs it's putting al that pressure back on my. What should I do?:icon_sad: thanks
Hi Dooey6464, As you may have read, everyone's experience of coming out is quite different. Unfortunately, there is no way of preparing a fool proof plan for the perfect coming out. It's quite a difficult situation where you anticipate that your dad and brother will not be very accepting, and even your mum hinted a bit. As far as whether you mum made that remark randomly or because she suspects something - don't worry about that too much, in the grand scheme of things it is not relevant so much. Her hinting or you overthinking it does not change the fact that you are who you are, that you like guys, and that sooner or later you will need to come out. I know that it is really hard to keep your orientation a secret. However, try not to put too many time constraints on yourself. If you do not feel comfortable about coming out before you brother leaves to France - then don't rush it. Maybe there will be a better time, like when you brother returns, or when he is away. I guess what I am trying to say is - keep yourself calm, and don't rush into anything. Also, try to be prepared for any sort of response - some of your family members may be homophobic, but their attitudes may change ones someone in their family comes out as gay. On the other hand, they may react in the way you expect them to - negatively. With no blueprint at hand, just try to do what feels right and when it feels right. Good luck with it. Take care, Mila
Thank you mila you really helped me. When I do look back on it I think I might of overthink things and came up with the worst ending ( I do that a lot ). Thanks for the help and I'll take you advices and do it when it feels right. Thanks
Hi Dooey6464, No worries! When you do come out- please let us know how it went! If it was good- we can all celebrate it together, if not so good- we'll help you get over it fast as!
