So I'm 20, almost 21. And I met this girl tonight who was amazing. Good conversation, lots of flirting, we just clicked. But now I'm scared. Here's why: I've never been with anyone before. Like seriously never even drunken kiss. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't admit this to her because she might get scared of the whole first time clingyness. I know that's not me, but it's a legitimate concern for most girls. What would you to in my situation? How would you react if you were in her situation and I told you that I've never done anything before? *sigh* I just don't know exactly what to do, advice would be nice.
Not a girl, but I'd say the best bet is simple disclosure. Try to be casual, but be honest. "I really like you, but I'll be honest - I've never actually done anything with anybody yet. So I'm gonna have to sort of feel my way through this." How would I respond? Positively. It meant that she wasn't trying to blunder her way through it. Lex
I've said this before,but it applies here,too. Everyone has a first time. Keep this in mind and remind any potential interests of this,if it comes up. Just be honest to whomever you like. It's okay to be nervous,we all have been! Good luck!
I didn't realize that there was a stereotype about being clingy after the first time. Huh. I should learn to judge people more often... But as for your query, I will just echo what Mickey and Lex said: Tell the truth. Don't make it serious business because at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter. And remember, it's all in the hips.
I know it is embarassing and you feel inadequate admitting it but the best really is to tell her the truth. You can incorperate it into a conversation where you talk about your pasts and tell her that you haven't yet had a relationship and that she is your first one. If I were in her shoes I would be honoured, you have been honest, you haven't been running round bed hopping, you are just a nice girl looking for a decent relationship, what is wrong with that. IF she reacts badly then she is not the friend you think she is, she SHOULD just give you a big hug and tell you that you'll take everything at your pace and if ever you feel uncomfortable you tell her and she'll stop.
It it was me on the receiving end, i'd find it kinda cute that it was your first relationship. It would make me want to give you the best first time I possibly could (unlike my first boyfriend, who was the biggest mistake of my LIFE). I would just tell her, and don't try change who you are at all so you don't seem 'clingy'. If this girl really likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you, she won't give a damn whether or not you've had a girlfriend before.
