Wow I haven't posted on here in about a year and I am veeeery different now! So over the past year I have really come to terms with my orientation as a lesbian after coming out to my parents and having a girlfriend for the first time. So after months of living in this world void of confusion for the first time in years, I thought I was ready to tell everyone and get it over with. This was the last step for me. So National Coming Out Day was coming up and I spent weeks writing the perfect coming out letter to post on facebook and twitter. I told my mom I was doing this two nights prior to the day. The next day she sat me down and started crying. For some background, I go to an all girls Catholic school and my principal is a nun. So my mom tells me that she doesn't think it's a good idea for me to post the note. Then she told me a story about a girl in my sister's class who graduated five years earlier at the same school came out publicly. She was called into the principals office and they said offensive things and tried to tell her she needed to hide her orientation again. She was then pressured to transfer and ended up doing so. So after hearing that, I was terrified and I cried and now I am still very much in the closet and I can't tell everyone until two years from now when I graduate. I still tell some of my close friends but I have to keep it a secret for the most part. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with this? Or a similar situation??
Absolutely do not keep it secret! I too live in CT (assuming we're talking about the US Connecticut, and not the UK), and i know that we have laws protecting us from this kind of prejudice. If your principal tries to make you hide your orientation, or push you to transfer, that is without a doubt a Hate Crime. The same rule applies if you get prejudiced by other girls, if they make that move, they are risking arrest. Personally, no amount of prejudice could make me regret my decision to come out at school. I still get occasional name calling, but the sooner you learn to cope with it, and ignore it, the less it will affect you. The close friends you've mentioned will of course stand by you, and help you if you just ask. High school is one of the best parts of our young lives, don't let it be ruined by staying closeted. Good luck! (&&&)
I'm of two minds here. On the one hand, I stand by ANerdWhoCares. You are who you are you deserve to be accepted and acknowledged for it. You coming out can possibly help other closeted girls at your school who are struggling with their sexuality as well. The world can't change if we all stay closeted and just shut up about it. And the psychological damage of remaining in the closet can be far-reaching. On the other hand, self-preservation through highschool should be a priority. Your safety matters. As does not being forced to leave during your last 2 years of school. I've since reconnected with several gay people I went to highschool with and with the exception of 1 person, none of us were out in highschool. This was only 10 years ago, and while it wasn't quite as tolerant as today, Will and Grace had been a thing for almost a decade, and it certainly wasn't the 1970s. We went to a somewhat progressive school in Ontario, Canada and gay marriage was already a thing. Still, no way were any of us going to come out at that age because kids in highschool are shitty. They're still working out their own sexuality and becoming comfortable with it, so their natural inclination is to lash out at those who are different. Dealing with non-stop bullying is not a good thing and can damage you for years to come. Now, I'm not saying this will happen to you. But I fear without the school administration's support, you may be in for an uphill battle. One of the problems I've experienced in my own coming out is some people knowing, others not. People can begin to gossip on your behalf and you lose the chance to tell your story and come out for yourself. Being able to be yourself around others is a wonderful thing and it's a massive weight off your shoulders. I can't really tell you what to do. You're about to make a major decision in your life, whether you tell people or not. Think about it, get others' opinions on here and in your personal life who know your situation better, weigh your options, and then make the decision that feels the best for you. We've got your back whatever you decide
