Hello Everyone, I am in a situation that scares me. I recently came out to my close friend but him only. I am 20 and I live under the roof of my parents house and I am gay. There is no way to move out in 1-2 years due to school (I have no time to work after/before school. No money=not moving). I know my sexual orientation since I was about 10-11. After I came out to my friend who's response was really friendly and supportive I felt the urge to come out to my parents too. The problem is that my parents are homophobic. I am scared that if I tell them they will kick me out from their house. There is no plan B for me. I am not that guy who has a loads of friends so there is no place to stay while they process it, even wors if they don't. I felt this urge 1-2 years ago. I was in depression due to this and I did self harm that I could hid from them. I just feel like that I wanna be myself and live my daily life like I want to and its kinda impossible to do it while you are homeless. I just want a safe way to get through this. What should I do? Should I wait? Isn't that bad that If Ill come out to them Ill be 23 or 24 years old? Thank you for your advice in advance. LG19
I'm in a similar situation. Both my mom and dad seem to be homophobic and so I'm not going to tell them until much later. I know you said you don't have many friends to open up to, but is there anyone else in your family who you can tell? Maybe a brother or sister or maybe even an aunt/uncle or cousin? I told one of my cousins who I know is not homophobic since she has multiple gay friends. It felt great like some weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Sadly, many homophobic people are homophobic because they haven't been exposed to gay people really. They hold bias opinions about LGBT people because they seem to be uneducated about LGBT issues. I suggest you hold off to tell your parents and if you must open up to somebody else so that you don't have to keep it bottled up inside, tell somebody else in your life who you can trust.
Thank you for your advice. Yes I do have one older brother who has a family now. I don't know if I can tell him because He has mixed feelings about LGBT. I did have a friend who I told that I am gay a couple years ago. It was a big relief that I could talk with him and I could be myself in his company. A little after I told him our relationship went weird (arguing about everything etc. Not the other way ) and we dont speak since then. It was really hard to tell my other friend about this because I have trust issues due to the last incident. Somehow I feel like I can ruin my relationship with my friends and my parents by telling them. We'll see how it works out now that he knows.
I am in a similar position to you OP, I am sure my dad will not act well to me coming out. So I won't tell him until I am financially independent. Being homeless is far worse than not being able to be open about your sexuality.
Don't tell them until you feel comfortable doing so. That may never happen, but you want to be in a situation where you are independent and financially secure, so that even if they react badly you will ultimately be fine.
