Okay, so this isn't the biggest issue in my life, but it's something I've been thinking about more and more lately. Is anyone else here extremely uncomfortable with touching the preferred sex? I ask this because while I identify as gay 100% (I fantasize strictly about guys, have fallen for a guy before, and have never felt even the slightest bit attracted to a girl in any way), I am repulsed by being in physical contact with other guys. Not the idea of it, but the act of it. Examples: When guys want to hug me, touch me in any way, or even if they do something like accidentally brush up against me, I get the worst sensation all over my being. Emotionally, physically, I just feel uncomfortable, and not "excited" at all. I don't know. I used to think I'd be alone forever, which honestly sounded pretty damn good to me. But recently I've met someone and the connection is obvious. I just feel sick when he touches me... And it's weird because I am completely "together" as far as being an open gay person is. I have no deep, guilt-ridden issues with myself or my sexuality. I'm just confused all over again.
Yeah, I am not really for the hugs either, especially from guys, I don't get a disguisting feeling though, your situation is odd in my opinion...
hmm....I'm a little bit like that although I wouldn't go so far as to say extremely uncomfortable. Then again, I've never been with anyone so... I hope more people respond to this post.
Well i had that feeling for a little while. Its like yo want to touch them and you want them to touch you, but if you do it'll just be weird, and not the way you want it to be.
I hate it when guys like, grab me. It is not unusual, being in high school, for a friend to come up and latch onto me. It feels way weird. Hugging I don't mind, nor other forms of casual touching. But I think when it's rough, it makes me feel awkward because I've kind of fantasized about that stuff. Last night my crush started trying to wrestle with me, and while a very interesting thought now, it made me extremely uncomfortable at the time. I don't think that your situation is lasting or even particularly unique. I think you probably just have a lot of your own insecurities to work through.
Talk to him about it. It could something as simple as the way he touches you, or it could be something you are not used to and makes you uncomfortable. Also some people just don't like being touched, so it just might be that simple.
Do you ever fantasize about being with this person? Not sexually but maybe cuddling? Kissing? Holding hands? Are you okay touching girls? I'm uncomfortable with anyone touching me. But only because i find touching to be very personal, very intimate. I mean yes i'll hug family and stuff, but with other people, even friends, it's uncomfortable. We're close...but not THAT close. So in THAT way, i feel uncomfortable being touched. Especially if by a guy i have a crush on because not only excitment will flare up. Fear, anxiety, and other BAD feelings can be stirred up because you don't want people to find out about a crush or something like that. Or it could be like revolutionrock said. You could be insecure about yourself. And again all those bad emotions, the fear, anxiety, and now insecurity would take over and you'd feel bad, perhaps to the point of being sick. I don't know. I'm no psychiatrist or psychologist or whatever, but i do think that you need to look at how you view you "ideal" relationship. How do you wish things would be if you found Mr. Right? If you honestly don't see any touching, maybe you need to do a little introspection and find out exactly why you feel so disgusted about touching. No this doesn't mean do the whole go back to you childhood and see what factor could have affected blah blah blah, but just try to figure out why you hate being touched so much. What feelings come up when you're touched and why you might feel that way. I hope this helps. Perhaps just look into these feelings a little deeper. Try to answer the questions presented (really, it'd be better if you clarified it more, not just for yourself but for us to ) and see were you get *i was going to put a hug but...*
I had that too. Anything that even remotely hinted at affection or intimate contact gave me the heeby jeebies. This is just my opinion, but it sounds like you're ashamed of being sexual. For me it wasn't about what I liked, I just couldn't get close to someone. I hope you find an answer that works for you on here. I had to contact a professional.
I always felt uncomfortable touching anyone (even family) I still did though. Then I got a great set of friends that are always fighting so I joined in and now I'm mostly alright with contact but when I think about it, it still feels weird I guess some people just have it like that... sorry that was no help at all :S
My guess is you're simply not used to it yet. You may have fantasized about it, but now you're being faced with the reality of it. And, almost always, the reality is different from the fantasy. For years, I fantasized about a guy sticking his hand down my pants. And then, finally, one did...and I found out that I'm extremely ticklish in an area there. It took some getting used to, and a couple reminders to him to avoid that spot, but eventually I learned to love it. Maybe you're in the same boat. Give it a try. But do let him know. And phrase it in terms of YOU ("For some reason, I feel really weird when I'm touching a guy") instead of him ("I feel weird when you touch me."). Lex
