Hello and thank you for reading. So, long story short: I know this guy for years and we've became really good friends. Never had any sexual fantasies about him and always thought he was straight. I'm gay and he probably thinks I'm bi but all he knows for sure is that I'm very liberal about everything. Now the tricky part, during the last 6 months or so he has changed and we got closer than ever. He talks about sex and his penis, stuff he likes in bed or he'd like to do. Even lets me know when he shaves his balls and loads of other information straight friends would never tell me. All this talk and thinking about his shaved penis and ass got me sexually interested so I've tried to get him to sleep over but we just watched tv and lied really close to each other so my head was on his shoulder and he was scratching his balls from time to time. He was complaining how it would be great if we had a girl we could fuck together. He knows I find him good looking and I believe he knows I wouldn't complain if he tried something but am too scared to lose him as a friend if I suggest anything and he doesn't feel the same way. What do you think? Do straight guys talk about shaving their buttholes with male friends? Do they massage their glutes when giving them a massage? Is he just too confident about his sexuality or is he attracted to me?
Nobody's said anything like that to me! That's very much what I'd call personal and private information to keep to yourself but maybe he simply feels super relaxed around you. He seems to me to be trying to get you to think about these things: maybe he's just teasing or maybe he is interested in trying something out with a guy (as you've said, he's already thought about a threesome with you). Good luck to you on dealing with your butt-shaving buddy.
Wow... Um, there are several possibilities I've come up with regarding what he is. In any case, my advice to you is pretty much the same: Unless he asks you about your sexuality and you feel like being honest, don't ask him about his! I know many people who are sexually confident so honestly I can't tell much about him, just because he tells you about these things... He could also be the affection type, so you putting your head on his shoulder might not be a big deal to him... As ConnorCode said, he could very easily be trying to tease you. Between you thinking he knows you're at least bi, and him talking about all these things with you, I think that's pretty obvious. So, my assessment... Considering how he interacts with you, I will assume he is either a closeted gay or bisexual. This doesn't necessarily mean you should flirt with him though, unless you don't care if your feeling get hurt or not. Bringing up a girl being "with" both of you sounds like a way to both tease you and make sure you keep your distance. Maybe I'm reading too much into the situation, but I've met several people who enjoy teasing others even if they're not attracted to them fully. Sure, maybe he is attracted to you, maybe he isn't, but regardless you shouldn't flirt with him unless you're ok with hurt feelings. If he's a good friend, he might be okay with you being gay. If he's not... watch your back. This guy just sounds like the sort of person who could hurt your feelings easily, even if he doesn't mean to.
Thank you guys so much for taking your time to read my story. @connorcode that's exactly what's confusing me, one moment i feel like he wants to try something, next he wants to invite some girl over. @iiimee I don't want to create uncomfortable situation and make things weird but he is the one who keeps bringing it up. I always considered him a really good male friend in a totally platonic way but now he makes me horny each time we're alone. Tried to ignore it but seeing him scratching his balls and talking about his sexual fantasies whilst touching me with his shoulder or leg is not helping.
Well, the easiest way to get out of situations like that might just be to say "I don't want to talk about that." Sure, he might think you're a loser for not liking to talk about sex and at worst he'll assume something, but just act like it's your right to change the conversation topic if it makes you uncomfortable. You don't need to tell him anything you're uncomfortable telling him, though if he asks for an explanation you can always say something like how you're "Not in the mood" to talk about this, or something that doesn't really answer the question...
I like talking about sex but it's the energy that is confusing me. As I've said it used to be very non-sexual friendship and now I wonder if anything will happen or not. Last time he gave me a massage and asked if I want him to do my glutes so I said ok. Then I felt his penis touching my hand at one point and he didn't move for a while and I'm sure he could feel my arm definitely. (I didn't move my arm either.) Maybe he was focused on my back and didn't pay attention to it but I hope you can understand why I find all these things so confusing. Do you think any masseur gets close to clients arm that they can feel his dick and I'm just being paranoid whilst trying to read all these signs?
I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but that sounds like a pretty sure sign that he is at least questioning himself or is bi/gay... Still, nothing is for certain, and if he doesn't come out to you, then it's pretty hard to pursue anything. Also, I don't know exactly how you two were positioned during this massage, so who knows, maybe it was intentional. The part that sticks out to me however is that he stayed there- that makes the possibility of him at least questioning himself extremely likely. My advice is to wait for him to come out to you, though this brings up the question... Are you planning on ever telling him about your sexuality? I'm not suggesting that you do or you don't- I just want to remind you that if you do it could advance, deplete, or have no effect on your relationship. For example, if you think he's homophobic at all, or in denial of his sexuality (in the case that it's not straight) then he might act harshly toward you. It sounds like you guys are good friends however, so maybe coming out isn't a huge risk. In reality, it's up to you to decide how this relationship goes: Think of this as a small path in your life, in which there are maybe different roads, leading off into different directions. You can't see very far into them, but from this advice I hope you can guess what to do. I am not sure what advice I can offer you besides this, since you don't seem to have any idea what you want to do with this situation. :/
He is not homophobic at all just repeats he is straight each time he hears "gay". Never outed to him but he knows I'm very liberal and suspects I'm bi. I would like to know where we stand. We can have sex, be fuck buddies or just friends. I'm fine with everything he wants just want to know what it is.
He sounds bi-curious or bisexual, if I had to guess. I read the other thread you made on this topic and I think their suggestions were pretty good. Just make sure you don't bring suspicious to yourself unless you feel you can trust him with the fact you're gay- and want to trust him. Regardless of what happens, EC is here for you. (&&&)
[Off topic.] Tried to contact admins to delete one of these because I'm new here and didn't know which one was in the right place. Hope I don't get banned for posting twice?
The chances of them banning you are highly unlikely- the admins are people too y'know, so they understand when people make mistakes. ^_^ I mean, after all, are two posts on the same topic THAT horrible? You're not the first person to make the mistake, so don't worry about it. :eusa_danc
You definitely do not get banned for posting twice. I've made that mistake countless times due to computer error. As for your situation... 1. I don't know what this guy is like... 2. But... From what I know of guys... I don't think the things he is telling you is any indicator of sexuality. Most of my friends and acquaintances are guys, and believe me, some of them talk about some pretty weird or personal crap amongst themselves. (And don't ask me how I do know this stuff. I hang around guys a lot.) 3. This isn't to say that your suspicions are incorrect... 4. But you'll need more to go on. 5. I've also heard of cases where "Straight" guys will be... Ah, how do I put this... Heteroflexible? I'm a little skeptical about the term, because it doesn't sound too different from bi, but I think it just means mostly straight, or bicurious. Then there are some people who are just hungry for sex, and will take it where they can get it. That's all I have. Good Luck!
Thank you Linus! As for the guy - you are totally right and I came here to hear different opinions before I say anything to him. If it was just the talking about weird stuff I wouldn't care that much but everything else has made me unsure of what's going on.
