Coming out/being outed

You may find it easiest to just say "yup, i'm gay, so what?' and ride along the stupid, stupid gossip wave until people get bored of it. You could also bunker down and deny it but it could backfire and make people think that you're hiding something, which you would be.

The better choice would also depend on the attitude people have about LGBT at your school. Are most people at your college very hostile? If so it you may decide to evade the issue. Are people accepting of LGBT? If they are then I say go for it. It's all up to you.

 

Well, if you come out as gay, prepare to get hate. I personally haven't experienced flat-out threats in my short life as a trans guy, but I have had people give me an evil look when I tell them, and very strongly tell me that I'm not transgender, or that I'm evil... It's creepy how slow people speak when they're pissed. X_X Still, you probably won't deal with that, I hope- most of the time it's just stupid gossip at schools of any kinds. As I see it, you have 3 choices-

1. Deny completely: I don't suggest this unless you're worried for your safety. After all, being closeted can be Hell and after you've denied it, it's even harder to come out because you've lied to a lot of people.

2. Say nothing: The gossip may pass, or it may continue. Either way, you'll probably be harassed for a while.

3. The "So What?" Scenario: Like Bismuth said, saying "So what?" can often be the best way to brush things off, provided you don't let people get to you. However, if you come out, some people might see you as a living stereotype and try to tease you about your sexuality- even my closest friends bring mine up 24-7, but since I'm younger, I'm guessing it's more easy to become obsessed about sexuality- I honestly don't know.

Whatever you do, I wish you the best of luck.

 

I'd follow what Bismuth said and just be "so what" about it unless you are afraid for your safety.

 

Well then, as I said- you can not respond or say "So what" and be openly you. The choice is yours: Don't feel pressured to do anything just because people on EC are advising it.

 

First of all Dylan, I feel for you! *big hugs* I've been lucky in that I've never really been outed by others thankfully. In a perfect world, you could come out when you're good and ready.

Obviously this isn't that scenario. Unless coming out will get you harmed or disowned / cut off financially, I would at least consider coming out. When others hold a secret like this about you, it gives them power over you. I've been in your shoes where some people know and others don't. I found it began to drive me a bit mad and you spend waaay too much time thinking about your sexuality and who knows, who doesn't.

Coming out may lose you a few friends, but it will likely strengthen your friendships and relationships with others. Plus, by people knowing your gay, it makes it easier for other guys to seek you out. And it also makes it a million times easier to date. I've dated in the closet, and it royally sucks.

DO NOT take this as me saying you have to come out. I don't know your circumstances. Listen to what the others have said above, because I don't have much to add regarding your potential options. BUT, I do know that virtually everyone I've talked to who has come out (myself included) wishes they had done it sooner because it can be incredibly freeing.

If you do decide to come out, this is something a friend told his parents you may want to use: "I've been hiding something from you for a long time, most of my life in fact. I've kept it inside because telling others can be incredibly scary. Others might treat me differently, it could ruin some opportunities I might otherwise have, people could beat me up, employers can fire me, friends might abandon me. But I now realize that I am who I am. I can't change who I am, nor would I want to. So I have to tell you that I'm gay. I waited this long to tell you not because I don't love you or trust you, but because I was struggling with coming to terms with my sexuality and how it affect me. But I want to share with you my secret and finally let you see the real me. I'm still the same little boy you held and helped to grow into a man, and I'm the person I am today because of you. I haven't changed. The only thing different is you know I like guys instead of girls."