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It's A Process, Not A One Time Event

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Contact1111, Nov 23, 2015.

  1. Contact1111

    Contact1111 Guest

    Joined:
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    Location:
    New Paltz, NY
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Does anyone feel that after they "came out", the whole process of it doesn't really stop. I have "come out" about five times now in one way or another to my family. Although I feel like everything is okay, after I had to go through the process of clearing the air on the stereotypes, it still kind of feels like one thing after another at times. For instance, a while back I painted my nails dark blue/almost black. Neither of my parents really minded me doing that, and they even offered to get me nail polish. My Mom said it was up to me whether I wanted to go out with it, but that she said in a cautioning/concerned that a "gay" person might come on to me as a result of that. Well, the thing is since I have told her in one way or another probably five times that I'm bi, it just seems strange to say it like that. If someone I didn't know very well ever did "come on to me", I wouldn't be interested. However, given what I've told her about five times, I certainly wouldn't live my life in fear over the approach of a hypothetical "gay" person.
     
    #1 Contact1111, Nov 23, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2015
  2. iiimee

    Full Member

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    Location:
    In my imagination.
    Personally, I only needed to come out once with my mom, and a few good friends of mine. However, for most people I had to remind them, even if they accepted me immediately- not that everyone did. I broke my connections with a lot of people, just over the fact they would purposefully call me female pronouns, basically taunting my sex to everyone we talked to. It was rude, and I decided that I deserved better.
     
  3. Guelito

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Rainier
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    It sounds like your mom is trying to be supportive and also maybe has some fear about how you are going to be treated by the world. Maybe she is scared of other gay men and their stereotype as only being after sex. I'm just speculating. I always try to put my focus on the points of connnection with my parents, not where we don't connect wich are many lol. I would focus on the fact that your parents offered to buy you nail polish. It sounds like they want to support you being who you are, not who they want you to be. Hope that helps.
     
  4. DreamerBoy17

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Agreed. ^
    I feel like coming out is a process, even if you only have to tell each person once that can add up... I've easily came out over 10 separate times, first as lesbian, then as trans to 5 people so far. I don't mind that much, now coming out is super easy for me, I'm experienced, not phased at all :lol: