Tell me something, guys. WHAT IS SO WRONG ABOUT JOKINGLY MENTIONING SOMETHING IN PASSING?! >.< Because on Sunday, during maths, I just happened to be telling my friend E what I did that weekend - consisting of "Oh, I went to J's house with J, J, A and B for J's birthday, it was a rave! We played Guitar Hero, watched films, and bet on how long it would take for J and B to make out" because it's always been a running joke that J and B are two very good friends who are just NOT like that. I'm not feeling my best Sunday or yesterday, so I just say things without really thinking, and I honestly expected E to be a little more mature about it. But apparently, as soon as I'm not around (I was off school today due to mon illness) she goes and tells half the year group that J and B made out, and as soon as they all get home from school, I get a HUGE interrogation from J about it, and a bitchy "WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING SO STOP TELLING PEOPLE!" EXCUSE ME!? "TELLING PEOPLE" IN THIS CASE EQUALS TO "MENTIONING IT IN PASSING OT ONE PERSON" Pardon my cussing, but WHAT THE FUCK!? It has put me in the worst imaginable mood, because stupid rumours like this surface all the time, and I think it's disgustingly pathetic that it happens. WHY is it so important for people to know all this shit? And more importantly, will it kill J and B to just LET THE RUMOUR DIE DOWN? -_- I've had plenty of rumours spread about me, I mean..I'm Helen, I'm a complete freak. J and B have another thing coming if they think they've had it worse off than I have, and I don't fucking well MSNscream at my FRIENDS if a rumour about me starts. And I haven't even heard from B yet. She's considerably worse than J about this sort of thing, and will actually rip my head off tomorrow when I come to school. Because J will have told her that I "told everyone that you and I made out", because that's how he took my "might've mentioned it to E". I hope that I get into this sixth form college I'm applying to in England, because I hate it here so very much, and I want to be somewhere where the only things that matter are things that are SUPPOSED to matter. But I still have another 4 - 6 months here, and I'd like to still have J and B as friends during that time, they seem to be the only ones who actually see me as a person, GENERALLY SPEAKING -_- /rant
helen - nothing is wrong with jokingly mentioning something in passing. what is wrong is that your friends are this upset about it. maybe they're just sick of every one assuming things about them. even if this is the case - that's no way to deal with it. try to talk to them, if that doesn't work - maybe you're better off without them as harsh as it may sound.
aww Helen(*hug*) people are stupid. trust me, i went to the biggest gossip school ever for High School. Everyone basically knew everything anyone told anyone in less than one day. It was crazy. Don't worry. Kids are stupid, they'll get over it.
Let's turn the tables for a minute. Say X came up to you and said, "Y said you spent all weekend trying to get into W's pants." If you didn't really want this information common knowledge, you probably would throw a major hissy fit. And who would you get mad at? Easy - Y. Y's the one shooting his/her mouth off, right? Well, not so fast. You only have X's word for that. Y might not have said that. Y may have said something like, "I spent the weekend with Helen and W. We had a great time, but I THINK I kept seeing Helen giving W some long looks. Maybe she's after something. " And then X ran in through Babelfish (gossip edition), and away you go. My point is this. J is pissed (and B may be as well) because of what was said by E. You don't know what E said. J may be overreacting to what E said, or J may be reacting appropriately to what E said. And frankly, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that J's pissed. And the proper response is NOT to get pissed in return. There's a saying I use a lot in situations like this - "this isn't the hill you want to die on". There are certain times and places where you may not want to budge, and in fact it may be right and proper to stand your ground. This isn't one of them. It really IS no big deal, from your point of view, so don't make it one. This isn't the time to draw battle lines - it's the time to apologize. "God, I'm sorry. That's totally not what I meant at all. All I said to E was (whatever). It was just supposed to be a joke, like saying I set a new record on Guitar Hero when everybody knows I suck at it. I honestly didn't think E would think I was being serious. I'm really sorry. Do you want me to explain it to E, so she won't still have the wrong idea?" Lex
