I've only come out to friends (who didn't mind) but I haven't come out to anyone in my family and there's something in my mind telling me that I'm going to have to come out soon. It's getting harder for me to pretend to be straight as I'm getting older.. and it's so hard for me to even say it in front of someone because I'm someone who'd be the last person expected to be gay. I want to come out because I feel like I'm lying to myself and I'm only betraying myself. I don't think anyone in my family is homophobic, but I'm scared to death to come out to any of them because it might change everything and I don't know how they'll react and I can't exactly depend on the fact wheter they'll go talking about it to my other relatives or not. My sister found out I'm a lesbian about 2 years ago, but she's acted like it was just a phase and she's sending me vibes that she desperately wants me to be straight because she's exteremly heteronormative. How should I come out? Why is it so hard when it shouldn't be? Will it help?
I've only come out to my twin, so I don't know if it gets easier the more people you tell or anything and I don't have experience with parents specifically. I was a nervous wreck when I told my twin I'm a guy and not a girl, even though we're very close and I was almost certain she'd accept me. If your parents love you, then I think they should accept you, or at least respect that this is who you are. You don't really have control over whether they'll tell any other family, but if you ask them to respect you and not tell anyone that might help. When/if you tell them, don't beat around the bush. It just tends to annoy people. If you're really nervouse it might help to say so so that they'll feel comfortable letting you take your time, especially if you tell them that you have something important to say but don't want it to change the relationship you have. If your sister can't accept you for who you are, then thats her problem, not yours. You can't decide to be straight to make someone else happy. To see if they're ok with gay people it might be good to watch a tv show with a gay couple on it or the Ellen de generous show, or something. Sorry, I'm not good at giving advice. Hope this helped.
Dont worry about it. There will be some changes to how your family treats you, but they wont be bad ones. Firstly, i imagine SOMEONE in your life is pestering you to get a boyfriend, well if you make it known that you're interested in women, that pestering will stop. (Or change to pestering you to get a girlfriend ). As for your sister, the more well known you make this, the more accepting she should become. My dad was very homophobic, but when i came out to more and more people, including him, he kept it suppressed, and even tried to change. All it takes is some time, and courage. But nothing is going to get any better if you keep your orientation secret, which could be part of the reason your sister believes its a phase. I would heavily advise coming out to your family and friends, as long as it doesn't present any danger to your way of living, and from the sounds of your story, I'd say it doesn't. If it helps, save coming out to family for last, and start with a close friend at school. They tend to show more support and understanding than family do. If you have any more questions, feel free to message me!
