eh this is sorta hard for me...

First, welcome to EC!
You are definitely not alone. Just about every person on this site has been through the confusion about who they are and what people will think, and most of us have come through the other side intact.
It's true that if you come out, you can lose friends. It happened to me. However, the friends I lost obviously weren't true friends. If someone drops you just because of your sexuality (something completely out of your control), they don't deserve your friendship. It was accepting my sexuality and coming out that led me to my real friends.
It'll probably take you some time to figure out what your sexuality is. You've made a fantastic first step by coming to EC. It's totally normal to be confused about sexuality as a teenager. You might be gay, you might be bi, you might be straight, but whichever way you turn out, you'll still be a great person. The best thing to do is give it time, feel free to rant and ask for advice here about anything you need to know or that you're worried about, and things will become more clear to you as time passes. And we're all here to help you out with that (*hug*)

 

Hey im not sure i can offer any help because im as confused as you are, but I guess i was hoping that maybe that in itself might offer some support. Welcome to EC.

 

I think a lot of us have been where you are right now.
What do you want? Would you rather be in the
arms of a girl or a guy? Honestly. You don't have to
reply to us, just ask yourself and reply honestly.
Are you attracted sexually to girls?
Like do you ever think "I'd tap that?" or do you only
do that with guys? Or both? You could be bi, gay, or
anything you want but labels aren't important, just
do what feels right. Hope this helped.
(*hug*)

 

Welcome to EC! This is a great place to figure everything out. Like firecausesburns says....in this process you might lose friends but most likely you will gain a whole new circle of friends who are actually more open, more loving, and more like you than the friends you have now. The true friends are going to stand by you. Alot of people don't lose any friends at all! My son didn't.

 

Ditto. And I would add that there is no time limit, so thoughtfully consider it. And don't be too upset, its natural to question urself

 

Welcome to EC!

>>>i cant be gay ...if i was who would i have left my friends always say shit about how they hate gays so much and it makes me feel like they wouldnt care

This is a thought process you're going to have to get beyond. Because you MIGHT be gay. Possibly you are, possibly you aren't. But if you're gay, then you're gay, and your friends are going to be a totally different issue.

As far as your friends go, they're exhibiting classic "homophobia via ignorance". Do they actually know any gay guys? Almost definitely not. It's not like they met some gay guys, got to know them, and said "You know what? These gay guys are horrible people"...and THAT's why they're homophobic. They're homophobic because they don't know any gay people, and so they don't know anything about them. Honestly, they're scared. Scared of what they don't know, and scared that their friends will think they're "one of them". So they talk about how much they hate fags...not because they do (most likely), but because they want to reassure everybody (and themselves) that they're "not like that".

Problem is - each time they say that, it's like a kick in your stomach.

There's not much you can do about your friends just yet. Do your best to try to disassociate their comments from you. They don't hate YOU, or even gays - they hate the idea of being ostracized. It's tough to do, but try not to hold it against them too much.

Your main focus should be on you. Keep your options open. Don't feel the need to announce "gay" or "bisexual" or "straight", even to yourself. Just let your fantasies go where they may. If you find lying at home fantasizing about a guy, killer - run with it. Don't push it away. Give it a go. If you fantasize about a girl, same thing - run with it. Eventually, things will sort out.

Lex

 

hey buddy, lol lemme just say we in exactly the same situation, frustrating innit xx