So I hadn't seen my friends in a week and during this week I've been telling myself "Ok, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna tell them!" yay so I was all prepped to come out. On wednesday it's ladies night at this pub me and my friends go to. So we all got together and I thought this would be a great time to come out since I was with all my close friends. But than they all start talking about they're boyfriends and sex and sex with guys and sexy guys. Point being, I felt so, hm i don't know, left out? or Different. Which I am but it hadn't kicked in till that moment. So, again, I chickened out and said nothing. I'm thinking maybe it'll be easier to talk to them seperately, one by one. I'm not sure how to even say it or when? I also have a feeling i haven't accepted myself yet. I don't know! Any thoughts?
Well, I'm going to come out seperately to everyone I care about, and all of my other friends are going to have to settle for a myspace coming out! A simple message to everyone, "I AM GAY."
I certainly share your sentiments. I don't know how to tell anyone either. How? When? And I probably have not accepted it myself yet either. I also feel like I have been overly assertive about being heterosexual in an effort for know one to know the true me. I think that is going to be hard to explain too. Someone posted somewhere that they sent emails with just the statement "I AM GAY". I thought about that, but I don't think that is my style. Also, I think it would be a lot easier for me to share if I had a partner - that way I could say, "well, ya know how last I talked about dating, it was Adam - well, this time it's Amy". I dated an Adam for awhile. As awful as it is to admit, I was really using him as a sperm donor :icon_redf. I want a baby so bad. Anyway...kind of rambled there.
Maybe when you are sitting with them and they are talking about guys, you could point out a cute girl and say "you don't have to worry about competition from me, cause she trips my trigger". (kind of kidding, sounded funny when I said it to myself) WTinal
That's exactly what i think. It would be so much easier to bring it up if i was dating someone. So, why not meet someone and then tell everyone? Wish it was that easy lol I don't have the courage to go to a bar/club alone. I've been trying to reach the gayline so i could find gay groups in my area to join but i don't know if i could do it. I would walk in and it would be like everybody knows I'm gay. Am i rdy for that??? By the looks of it..i don't think so. So i tried looking at ads online and i found someone who was looking for friends to hang out at gay bars! PERFECT. Except she hasn't answered me yet! Anyways all that to say I think I'm only gonna b able to do it if I'm seeing someone or wtv. I was going to tell my best friend online but I think i would rather do it in person. But I'm super shy so i don't know how all this is gonna work out! I think I need to build up some confidence before saying anything.
As I am processing what I need about coming out, I have realized I need to figure out what I am wanting in telling people - it may be different for each person want to tell. For example: the purpose of telling my mom was to resolve some issues of the pass, and take the first in developing an honest, open relationship with her. I decided letters (emails) were going to be the best method. On the other hand, I want to tell a person at work who I know is gay (has a spouse and kid), but the purpose is different. I would like to be friends with her - on a personal level and on a professional level. How or when or if - I don't know? I also feel I need to tell her, because she could find out from a mutual friend at the church I attend who at this point assumes I am gay without me saying anything. I think it would be worse for her to find out that way. I don't know. I still don't know - how? or when? And right now, I am not going to be quick to tell anyone else. I am attending a church who will be supportive as I get to know and accept myself. I am sure I will develop some kind of friendships there. This board is a great place to be. Everything else I think will fall into place in its time.
I think the best thing you can do is to tell each of your friends individually. Look for those random moments when one separates from the group, and find some random excuse to follow along. Use that moment to tell them. Making a big group announcement, although certainly more convenient, is also far more daunting and intimidating. And, each individual you tell makes it that much easier the next time and gives you that much more confidence. Also, you will get a genuine reaction from each person, rather than the potential scenario of some members of the group taking issue with you and the others reacting the same way to try to fit in. I hang out with one particular group of friends every Friday, but I very rarely see any of them outside of that setting. But, I didn't want to do a big huge group announcement, so I waited for those random moments. One of my friends decided to drive to get some food, so I rode along and told him. I told another as we were leaving, since we were the only two outside at that point (I actually did that with a couple of the group members). I told another when he went out for a cigarette. I told the other person the night I got there early and no one else had arrived yet. Admittedly, it took me three weeks to finish, but it worked really well in my opinion.
