How do I know if I can trust someone to come out to?

A couple months back, I decided to come out of the closet as gay in a highly prejudiced school (also sophomore year), and I started with a close friend who was also out as bi. From there, i continued to tell more and more people as she encouraged me to live my life for me, not for someone else's viewpoint. I then came out to my older cousin, my step mom, actual mom (who then outed me to my dad, but it went well), best friends, and most of my co-workers, all in that order. After i was out, and after a daring speech in front of my graduating class (story here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-advice/197158-i-may-ready.html), prejudice at my school mostly went away, but i still cant find other people that i might try dating. I'm THE gay guy in my class, but I still wouldn't have it any other way, because its much better than living a lie.

My advice, start with someone who would understand you, and support you; a close friend, guidance counselor, teacher, non-immediate relative (cousin, grandparent, uncle/aunt, etc.) or siblings if you have any. No matter ahat the outcome, good or bad, it will still feel better in the (not too) long run.

Good luck, and remember..:

 

If you know any other lgbt people, start with them. They're more likely to be sympathetic and offer practical advice because they've been in your shoes. Either that, or talk to a teacher or guidance counselor you trust. Even if they don't quite "get you," they might be able to point you in the right direction.

 

The only people you can truly be sure you can trust are the people who are pretty much required to be there for you, such as a guidance counselor, and people in the same situation, like those already "out" as LGTBQ. Everyone else, you're just gonna have to guess and trust your gut. I know it sucks, and you'd like to be able to know, but really you're just going to need to have faith.

 

Biggest challenge for me was the week leading up to the Truth About Hate assembly i linked to in my last post. Throughout that week, people showed their true colors and views on gays, and the gay community. I repeatedly heard people making bets on how many people would come out of the closet during the open mic portion of the assembly, and mocked coming out like it was a joke. It really bothered me to hear such vile comments from a generation that was claimed to be raised in a community of tolerance, but it gets worse.

I had a crush on an extremely cute guy in my Spanish class; average height, skinny, but muscular build, handsome, and a great sense of humor. I cowered in fear of asking him out for weeks, questioning whether or not he could be gay, or bi at the least. He hung out with a bunch of douche-y sports guys, but always acted different compared to them. More feminine, and even claimed to like guys more than girls a few years back. (The fact that he still didn't hook up with a girl by this time with his looks supported my suspicion). But on the day of the assembly, i was standing near his group talking to a group of my friends, when i overheard one of them say the word "fags." I eavesdropped on the rest of the conversation, they were talking about how coming out was a useless and annoying thing to hear. His last remark before i stormed out was "fuckin dykes should just keep to themselves." :tears: (Pardon my language, but not my quote. :eusa_naug) Thats what fueled me to speak out against prejudice at my school; rage at the people who felt that way, and rage towards him. Later that speech got me apologies from nearly all the people who felt that way, and since then things have been okay. But i still cant look at my crush without feeling absolutely enraged. :tantrum:

So thats the hardest challenge I've had to overcome, in my opinion. I still had other problems, but this was by far the worst. My advice is the same as that of the posts above me; tell either a close friend, another member of the LGBT community, or a guidance counselor first. That way you can avoid any other issues that come with telling a parent, or a regular friend. :bang: