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Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by lukeg, Dec 2, 2015.

  1. lukeg

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Orillia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hey so for the past 6 months or so i have been wanting to tell some of my friends that i am bi because i have found it to be increasingly difficult to keep this secret from everyone. i really want to tell at least a couple of my closest friends because i am tired and lonely from keeping this from everyone and if i do i should finally be able to just be me around them and that is something i have wanted for a long time. I dont think that any of the people i am considering telling about this will have any issues with me if i do tell them or that they would intentionally do something to hurt me if i did tell them but i am still worried that somehow other people will find out about it and it will get back to my family. that is not a risk that i can take as i need support from my family to be able to continue going to university which i am not sure i will have if they find out. if anybody is able to give me some advice about what to do in this situation that would be really appreciated. :confused:
     
  2. ANerdWhoCares

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    If by university, you mean college, then this is perhaps one of the best times to come out. High School or middle school aren't quite as good, but I'd still highly recommend it.

    I always recommend that people start with coming out to somebody close, someone that you can rely on no matter what. If you don't believe you have that avenue, then your next best bet would be someone who'd understand what you're talking about. I first came out to a bisexual friend, so that id know she'd give no negative reaction, but i know not everyone has that choice. If you believe your closest friends are capable of understanding and accepting you, then id tell them right away, but do it one by one. If you tell them in a group, one person's reaction might influence the others. Pull the one you trust most aside in a neutral, open space where neither you nor them would feel cornered or trapped. That way they wont feel pressured and react in a way they wouldn't normally, and if shit hits the fan, you can get out quickly. I encourage you to tell them, if you're all as close as you say, then they wont blab about it to your parents until you permit them. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Goster

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Sit one or two of your friends down and tell them. I know that sounds like the worst advice but trust me, every time you tell someone you'll start to feel a little better. Like you said, start with the people you know will take it well!! Trust me when you have good friends (which it sounds like you do) they will understand how big of a deal coming out is and they will keep it a secret.

    One thing that you seemed worried about was them telling others. If any of the main guys that you think will be supportive, have a loud mouth, tell them after you tell the ones you trust the most. When you get other people telling them "don't say shit it's a big deal" no one will want to spill secrets that not only you said to keep quiet about but your other friends said to stay quiet about as well.

    Again, even if you have a whole group of guys you plan on telling, start with the one(s) you trust the most and are closest to! Good luck