So I'm new here! Mostly I just have questions about my sexuality because I think I might be lesbian or bi but I'm not sure. I've never had a boyfriend or kissed a guy and although I've had a few crushes it's never gotten serious. For a while, when I saw another girl that I thought was attractive to me I would get a gut feeling like I was in trouble or something. I'm not sure why because my family would be super accepting if I came out but it still happened. So I just generally ignored this but then a couple months ago a close girl friend of mine came out to me as a lesbian. Since then I have been thinking about it a lot and come to terms with the fact that I may be lesbian or bi. However the more I think I'm okay with it the less sure I am that I am gay. Because since I've "accepted" it the gut feeling has stopped. So I'm not sure if I'm gay or not because the thing I thought was what was telling me I was gay stopped happening. However that could just be because I've accepted and no longer feel like I'm doing anything wrong. To make things more complicated, I think I might have a crush on the friend who came out to me a while back. I want to tell her that I'm gay because I know she would accept me and be fine with it but I'm worried it would just change the nature of our friendship and she's one of my closest friends. I don't know what to do now because I want to come out to her and others if I am gay but I'm no longer sure? Thanks for reading all of this! I know it was long. What do you think I should do?
I think if your friend trusted you enough to come out to you, she'd be willing and ready to help you determine what you are. This may be a little bold, but if you have a crush on her, see if she's willing to test the waters. Try a relationship with her and see how you feel a week or 2 into it. Some people need a sort of "trial by fire" approach to help them determine their sexual orientation. And I'm sure she'd understand and be willing to help you another way if she's not feeling adventurous. You have a friend who understands your situation, take advantage of that. Not a lot of people are that lucky, and I'm glad that I'm one the lucky ones.
