Okay, I am taking a deep breath so I can get this out. I am half in half out of the closet and still terrified of being identified as "lesbian". I came out only 2 years ago and struggle daily because I cannot quite come all the way out to myself or others. My friends have been fantastic! My parents have shut down. I am still loved but there is a pulling away that stings. I feel like a coward because so often I "pass" as straight and do not correct people for fear of having to deal with their reaction however it is getting more and more painful everyday to stay inside myself with the truth. Has anyone else felt like running back in the closet after coming out or more accurately feel stuck half way? I am terrified. Thanks for listening.
Hey,again! I think many people go through this. Coming out and accepting yourself for who you are,is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. I think it makes it that much harder when those you love the most react negatively. The only advice I can give is :Be true to yourself. We only have one life and we have to live it the way that makes us the happiest. Maybe you can try to talk more to your parents. Many people use PFLAG material to help explain things better. Maybe you can print some and give them to your parents. At any rate,we're here for you and you can always talk,vent and scream at/with us! Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I often feel exactly the same way, like I'm stuck halfway in and out of the closet. I'm still closeted from my family and wish I could let them know about some of the things I'm doing at college. I can't tell them about becoming an educational GLBT trainer on campus, or how I'm taking a Gay Studies class. (&&&) If it hurts to hold in the truth, then by all means let it out! You don't have to broadcast it to everyone, but just strive to be honest when people ask about relationships you've had. If someone asks you about your significant other, you can just say "it's personal" or that you're "not dating currently", whatever is appropriate. It would be telling the truth without telling people about your sexual orientation. After all, what business is it of others who you're attracted to?
I was having email difficulties for 24 hours and blocked out of EC I was so grateful to read the responses. It helps me not feel so alone. Thank you! Avl
Avlgirl, I know somewhat how it feels, I know no two people are the same but I'm half in and half out. Only a few close friends and close cousins lol know. I still come off as straight to many people and many of my gay friends say I still don't seem day lol Just know that everyone is here for you as well as your friends. But I give you Kudos for telling your parents, even if they aren't being supportive.
