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Now okay with being gay, but don't know how to come out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Dooey6464, Dec 8, 2015.

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  1. Dooey6464

    Dooey6464
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    I came to the conclusion that I was gay after a year ago after 4 years of denial. Now I've come to terms with being gay (thanks for everything everyone (*hug*)).this website has made my life so much easy. But I don't know how to come out. I know that I won't do it until next year because the holidays are all ready a crazy time . I don't want anyone to worry about more things at this time of the year. I don't think I'll be able to say a lot when I do come out to friends and family because it already scares me now and so ill be ten times worst when I do.

    I also don't know who to come out to first. I have my best friend how I've known forever and can trust but he has had 2 other guys how came out to him and I don't want him to think I'm doing it because of the other 2 guys came out to him(different reasons for coming out though, one bisexual and one pansexual). I don't want him to look at me in a different way because I know he kinda did for the other.I also keep thinking that I should come out to my mum first because she help me a lot and know what to do (I love her(*hug*)) but The only reason I don't won't to is because I don't know if she homophobic or just saying it because the my bother and dad are.i don't see myself coming out to anyone else because I don't trust them ( not in a bad way I just don't )

    I was thinking about writing a letter explaining everything and giving it to them when I say I'm gay so that I don't get my tongue in a knot trying to explain. I still don't sure that's the best way to come out.

    Is there any better way of coming out it? Who should I come out to first ?

    P.S Your Awesome (*hug*)
     
    #1 Dooey6464, Dec 8, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 8, 2015
  2. RavenTheRat

    RavenTheRat
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    My advice is, to find out if your mum is homophobic, bring up something about the LGBT community (when you're alone with her) and watch how she reacts :slight_smile:


    Good for you for coming to terms with your sexuality though! (*hug*)
     
    #2 RavenTheRat, Dec 8, 2015
  3. bubbles123

    bubbles123 Guest

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    A letter is a great way to come out. Any way you feel best coming out is fine. Only you can really decide who you want to come out to first. I think the friend might be good since others have come out to him and I don't think he'd think you're coming out to him just because others did. He'd probably appreciate that you trust him like that and be understanding and want to support you.
    But if you rather your mom knows first, that's fine too. You probably intend to come out to both of them in the future anyway. Just think about what would make you feel most comfortable first.
    Try to feel out who would be more supportive. Maybe bring up LGBT+ stuff with your mom when your dad and brother aren't around or express your opinion and see how she responds.
    Good luck!
     
    #3 bubbles123, Dec 8, 2015
  4. Acuba403

    Acuba403
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    You should just be able to bring home a guy and just leave it at that; unfortunately that's not acceptable in today's society and we are required to come out first. When it comes to your friend if he looks at them differently he may not be all accepting as you think or it could be nothing. You should test the water with both your friend and see what he thinks before you tell him just so you know what to expect from him.

    With your mother you are gonna want to make sure that she is accepting, especially where your brother and father are homophobic. Get your mom alone and just casually bring up the conversation some how (news and events usually works) and see what she thinks with out your brother and father around so that they don't influence what she says. If you don't feel safe or think she is homophobic, don't come out to her; your safety and well being is the number one concern. If you think that she will take it well and will be accepting then yeah come out to her, just make sure you'll be safe.

    Hope this helped :slight_smile: Good luck
     
    #4 Acuba403, Dec 8, 2015
  5. Dooey6464

    Dooey6464
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    Thank you for all replying.It's giving me stuff to think about when I do come out.

    P.S your amazing:thumbsup:
     
    #5 Dooey6464, Dec 8, 2015
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