Ok, So I'm pretty sure about who I am, but I can't tell anybody, so I figure it's easier if I find other people in the same situation but I freak out just to talk about the subject and I start shaking just to pass in front of a gay bar/pub, once I was in a foreign city and managed to ditch all of my friends to go to the Gay region but once I got there I couldn't sit down and just kept walking with that "I'm hiding something" face. Can Anyone tell me how can I manage to find people without freaking out???
This site helped me a lot. Just talking to the folks here helped me to feel normal. It gave me the courage to start going to a gay community center in town and start making friends. I know at first I felt like I was some kind of evil three headed monster, here to eat children and destroy marriages. After spending time here and with my new friends I have found that I am normal. I notice you have been a member for nearly three months and only have 6 posts. Pull up a seat and join in. Post replies and start threads. Everyone here is very friendly. Just say what ever is on your mind. It will be tough at first, but before you know it, it will become just like talking about the weather.
This place has helped much! I think by chatting and letting out what you are feeling here you can try and re identify yourself not as just your sexuality but who you are as a person. One thing that you must be careful about is the internet. I am not saying meeting people on the internet is wrong just to be careful of who you meet! Stay in there!
Hi there! You are trying to be yourself and change things. It's normal to have these reactions and fears. It's a big step that you are trying to take. Maybe what would help, try joining a GLBT support group in your community or school (if it has one). That could help you to open up a bit because in some ways you will still have the feeling of 'privacy' and control over your coming out. Also, try to join smaller groups of people first. Maybe try finding out if there are some smaller regular social events that are hosted by your local GLBT community. Try joining them on an evening. When you do join them, keep telling yourself it is okay to be here and I will try enjoying myself tonight. Also, post/talk to some of the members here as well. It will help you to become more comfortable with yourself and talking about it as well. I hope this helps a bit!
The thing is... I find it a bit hard to simply show up at some gay event publically when I can barely type the word Gay, I wish I could talk to One person (a real one in life you know) but the only person I told was a girl, she is still my friend but refuses to talk about the subject and she also lives in a different country, and I just can't find anyone I think would last after this, I keep myself away from people cuz I'm always faking when I'm with them but than again how am I supposed to stop pretending if I never get close enough to trust them? I don't think I'd have the guts to go to an event all by myself, and I don't think there is a support group in my University.
The good thing about going to places where gay folks hang out is that it is assumed you are gay. It is the straight people that have to make their orientation known.
welcome to EC! I agree with everything that has been posted above. This site has helped me a lot. You may want to see if there is a PFLAG group in your area to go to. I have been going for about 6 months and it really helps me. Whatever is said in the meetings is held in confidence.
I completely unde those feelings and freaks you are having, i suffred them for years, it will get easier, but the fact that you are now talking about it makes it easier, even if it is via the internet. My first trip into a gay bar was with some girls and i too freaked but the second time i was with some other friends and it was much easier. It is a very weird stage where you know who you are but you are not sure what to do. If you can find anyone at all to talk to about it here then do, we are all here to help. :icon_bigg
Did you know the girls you went with the first time???? I think I should probably go on a trip and try it there cuz than it's almost sure nobody knows me anyway!
Hi there. I'd say just keep working on getting comfortable with yourself first. Once that is accomplished, then it won't matter as much if people find out. If you're attending a university near Paris, I would expect that there would be some kind of Gay / Lesbian support group there. Just hang out here. Join into the conversations / threads. Post your own questions or just read about what other people have gone through. It gets easier with time. Good luck!
This site has definitely helped me, I met some people off this site in France and the US and hope to see more of them. They are amazing people struggling through much of the same things.
Come to San Diego...the weather is fantastic :icon_bigg did i mention the beaches and all the (!) hammocks
