Ok, There is this guy that I met through a health chat and we hit it off. He is about 2 years older, lives in canada and we were really good friends. He helped me dealing with my sexuality issues, dealing with my coming out to a few friends, he calmed me down when I felt all was lost. I lost contact with him when I came out to my family...sorta. In a few short things, I was told that maybe I am not gay just giving into these feelings that people may have influenced on me like teasing, hanging out with lesbian friends and other things. Now that I am finding myself..again.. not only am I scared about coming out but about this friend that I had. We are like more than friends, close friends. I did miss his chatting but I feel like I would be betraying what I said. "To try and let those feelings go" so much that I am kinda paranoid to even to talk to him. What should I do? Thanks
Hi there! I don't think you need to be scared about your friend. I think you should talk with him. It sounds like that you have a really great friend in him and he knows you. He has helped you before and thus is the best person who will understand what you are going through. Just be honest with him. I don't think you have betrayed anyone. Trying to come to terms with ones sexuality and coming out are hard, and they often leave us confused and wanting to remain hidden in the closet or even going back into the closet after we have come out. But it is okay. In fact, going back to him and continuing to chat with him, will show him that you trust him and that you do see him as a good friend with whom you are comfortable sharing an important part of you life. Hope this helps!
It has helped I just had this overwhelming sense of fear of going back to talking to him. We are just friends now and I appreciate him being there regardless of all my flaws! Thanks Asteroid
I agree with Asteroid. If this person has helped you so much in the past, I'm sure that getting back in contact with him will help you a lot more than it could hurt - in fact, I don't think getting in contact will hurt at all. Outside influences won't change your sexuality, but they can change the way you feel about it, and hopefully this guy can help you feel a lot better about it.
I agree with Asteroid as well. If you're afraid to just go up and started talking again out of the blue, try sending an email. I always find it's a safe way to start back up a friendship that's been on hiatus a while. I doubt you'll have to worry though, just go with what you think is best.
I agree with everyone above. I would try to talk to him again. it seems like you have a level of comfort with him. It should make things easier to talk to him. Good luck!
Thanks I appreciate all your comments, its hard right now on me. I don't know really where I am in my life and really questioning myself. Thanks
Hi there! As you know, questioning yourself and trying to interpret what it all means is part of trying to figure out who you are and it is important that you do take your time. Yes, it can become very emotional and overwhelming at times but if you take your time and explore the feelings that you are experiencing and follow whatever feelings right for you, you will be able to figure things out. If you can, keep chatting with your friend. Also, try finding out if there is a GLBT support group that you could perhaps join. Talking with others and sharing your experiences can really help not only with figuring things out but also with normalizing things and coming to understand how you fit within the larger society. Also, do you have access to a counselor/therapist? Sometimes hearing ourselves talking about our fears, worries and feelings can help us to understand thing better and take a step forward to changing things. If you do have access and if you feel comfortable, I can only encourage you to do so. I hope this helps a bit. Remember that you do not have to go through it by yourself. Talk to us. Feel free to pm any of the advisors at any time.
