So, I'm a junior in college and I recently accepted that I'm bi. I live in a suite with two of my best friends, and I want to tell them about my orientation but I'm also terrified. They're both accepting of the LGBT+ community but I'm afraid that the little things will change. For instance, my friends and I will walk around half naked or come into each other's rooms while we're changing to show off our outfits, etc. I'm worried that coming out will affect our friendship in little ways, even if they say that everything is great and they accept me. My bff and I are affectionate, like she'll come in to my room for a hug before bed, and I'm scared that that will stop. I'm 0% attracted to my friends (that would be like having a crush on my sisters?? V not into it) but there's still a nagging feeling that our relationship will change. I'm also just terrified to admit it in general, but I also want to be able to share with them all the parts of my life and to be open. I want to get it off my chest, so I really want to tell them, but I'm also terrified. Does anyone have any advice? Anyone have a good or bad experience telling best friends/coming out in college??
Sorry, I don't have much advice for you seeing as I'm in a similar position. I'd really like to keep tabs on this post and see what advice other members are able to offer you - I can completely identify with you on the worry about the little things. I too am identifying as bisexual and am worried of what will change if I come out to my fellow dorm members. I hope that other posters are going to be more helpful than I am!
In a way, you kind of already know what to do. What you've already written in this post is a good way to say it when coming out to them; "I'm bi, but don't worry, that doesn't make anything change. I'm not into you like that, 'cause that would be like having a crush on a sister." Or something on the lines of that. Just be honest, and assure them that nothing romantic/sexual about them is going through your mind.
I came out to some of my close female friends throughout the school years... 1st time was in college. she freaked out and kicked me to the curb 2nd time the friend freaked out a little but got over it gradually... 3rd time I double and triple checked that the friend (also my then roommate) was very liberal/non-religious/etc/etc before coming out to her and she has been amazingly supportive
I know that is doesn't help, but when I was in college and you came out or worse yet, outed, you would end up backing your bags and catching the next bus to anywhere. True, there are still lots of bigots and nasty people in the world, but there are a lot more compassionate people as well. The only thing I would suggest is confiding first in the person you would trust the most. Bad analogy I know, but who would you confide in first if you were pregnant. I know, sounds stupid. But this is what real friendships are about. High school friendships based on clothes and boys are slowly fading away. Adult friendships based on serious shit, like losing your job or a partner is what's ahead. If they reject you, it will suck. Definitely suck. But it will be a great test of true friendship. One idea that works, write down, in your own handwriting, not email or text, what you would say to her. Don't mail it. Write it and put it under your pillow. Then read it in a few days. Maybe you need to convince yourself first before you try to tell her. Seeing your own words will give you strength. I wish you only good luck and happiness.
