I apologize for this post being long, but I could really, really use some help. As I have posted about on here quite a few times, I have denied my sexuality since I first noticed I was 'different.' However, after coming out to my crush in the summer of 2014, I finally started accepting myself. I think a few months ago, I have fully accepted myself. I'm no longer ashamed to be gay, even though people's reactions do still scare me. The plan, since a few months ago, has been to come out in the summer because I wouldn't being dorming at school anymore and it wouldn't be awkward between me and my roommate and school peers if they found out. This plan was all set and I was ready to come out in June. Nonetheless, since accepting myself, me being gay has been on my mind all the time. I came out to a very close friend a months ago and it went well. I still find myself, though, thinking about it all the time. I want to stop 'lying' to my parents. I went for a walk today and contemplated telling my mom tomorrow. Just us two will be home and I'm thinking about telling her. Then I would plan to tell my dad and brother later on in the month because they will likely take the news harder. I have been thinking about 'coming out' so much that I cannot focus on much else. Also, I feel like I'm always about to slip and say something that would give it away. I also fear telling a friend by accident and then it getting back to my parents before I get the chance to tell them. So those are all the reasons to tell them. However, I have many reasons not to say it yet. I fear that I'm rushing the whole process. "Am I ready?" runs through my mind constantly. And I don't know the answer to that question. I also wonder if I'm rushing this because I want to start dating; having no relationship experience at 20 years old is really getting to me and I refuse to lead a girl on when I have no interest. But 'coming out' just to date is a really idiotic reason in my opinion. I'm sorry for this big mess, but so much has been racing through my mind lately that I don't know which of my thoughts are rational at this point. Any help would be appreciated. I feel like I'm rushing 'coming out' a bit, but as I said, I cannot seem to stop thinking about 'coming out' and ending this lie.
I actually can relate to you quite a bit on this. I say trust your instincts, if you feel like you're ready to let them know you're gay, go for it. Just be prepared that they might not react how you might expect.(not to scare you) Dont overthink- just do it! Only you can decide whether or not you're ready.
I always recommend people to come out first to a trusted friend, since you have already done that, congratulations Now ask yourself this, do you really accept that you are gay, without any preconcieved shame etc, then I say gather some courage and tell your mother. Just make sure you have answers to some questions. And prepare yourself mentally that it might not go as you have planned (not to scare you) If you are comfortable in identifying as gay, its best to wait for some time, well all the best (&&&) *hugs*
