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Coming out for the holidays. Resources for the religious?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MarthRoyIke, Dec 15, 2015.

  1. MarthRoyIke

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    Hey EC.

    I plan on coming out to family this Christmas. I don't live close anymore and this is the best time that I can tell them in person. I've been out for a year now to friends and I'm a better person for it. Facing this has also reinforced my agnosticism. My family is a mixture of moderate to evangelical Christians, most of them expressing a deeply negative view of homosexuality. Religion and my personal life are the two topics I never talk about with them due to our clearly divisive views on both topics, so they know nothing of my faith or dating life.

    I will have no emotional support when coming out; I'm completely on my own. Does anyone know any good resources to show a religious family when coming out? Books, articles, web sites, anything that an evangelical Christian would be open to reading on this issue? I don't expect to change their mind or theology, but I want to provide something that shows perspective, gives them a way to still have room for me in their religion, and that I thought this out and did my homework.
     
  2. SemiCharmedLife

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    I'm Jewish and have no personal experience to share, but I have friend who's deeply involved with this organization, and I know they have a lot of resources: The Gay Christian Network
     
  3. Patagonia

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    Just a thought. Is there one person you can share this with before you tell everyone else? I guess you would REALLY have to trust them. But it would be good to have can ally of sorts. Personally, I wouldn't do it at Christmas. Why? Since it sounds like your family takes the religious stuff quite seriously. Do you think they will say you RUINED Christmas by revealing your "evil and wicked ways?" Weird I know that they would worry about Jesus's birthday bash more than your happiness, but I know how that goes. Trust me I do. Now everything I said may be totally ridiculous. Whatever you do I wish you good luck. And despite what alot of evangelicals might think, God loves you more than you'll ever know - as does everyone here who once faced this incredibly difficult challenge. So whatever happens on Christmas, be sure to have a fabulous New Years!
     
  4. ANerdWhoCares

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    Surprisingly enough, there's a wikihow for this. It's not much, but it's something, if you're not sure how to approach this. Like the above have said, Christmas may not be the best time, but if it's your only option, then take it. Good luck. (*hug*)

    How to Come Out to Strict Religious Parents When You're Gay
     
  5. bubbles123

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    I'm not sure if they'd be willing to watch this video or not (it's about an hour long) but it's very informative and helpful. I used to struggle with homosexuality and religion and watching this video seriously changed my mind about it all. It's about looking at not only what the Bible says about homosexuality (or seems to say) but the historical context of when those things were written, how the Bible's been translated, and many other things which show if you look at it all together, the Bible likely doesn't condemn homosexuality, it just seems to and people believe it does. It may sound too good to be true, but really it's an amazing video and if they're willing to watch it I think it could help a lot.
    Best of luck!!
    [YOUTUBE]ezQjNJUSraY[/YOUTUBE]
     
    #5 bubbles123, Dec 15, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2015
  6. MarthRoyIke

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    Thank you for the resources. These are all very helpful.

    Unfortunately I'm not able to make an ally without risking coming out to everyone anyway. News travels fast in my family, and I didn't want to place my siblings in the position to have to lie to our parents, or be caught off guard having the wrong people know early.

    I'm only home for this Christmas break and it's the only time I have to tell them in person. While I'm trying not to make it a big deal, showing up in person does have a more serious vibe to it.

    I remember seeing this a few years back but I forgot all about it.
     
  7. Contact1111

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    It will most likely cause the holidays to be very strained, and they very well may say that you "ruined" Christmas.