I'm just curious if anyone has been in a similar situation as myself. My biggest fear of coming out isn't necessarily my family or friends its my job. You see I work in a very male orientated environment (a facility of roughly 4 to 5 hundred employees) with very few of those being female. While I'm aware there are laws in place to protect me, it's not really the company I'm worried about its my coworkers. Most of which I know of are not LGBT frendly. And a couple of those which could potentially be hostile. I'm really worried about being harassed to the point where i'd want to quit. I've done research and the company itself is not LGBT friendly either. Maybe my fears are irrational and I'm just paranoid, not really sure that's why I'd thought I'd ask. Furthermore I know that if/when I come out I don't have to come out at work (and I don't plan on it). But a close family member does work at the same place as I do. And if I was to tell my family that person would ultimately know, and I don't necessarily trust them to not say anything. Plus I do run into coworkers around town more often than I'd like to.
Sorry to hear you are in that predicament. I can definitely relate. The first time I came out in 2009 I ended up getting fired because I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend at the time and my boss happened to be there and he is extremely homophobic. I am pretty masculine but he wasn't and it was pretty obvious. I live in a state with no legal protections for LGBT people though. Maybe strike up a conversation about religion or politics (if you feel comfortable) with the coworkers you are concerned about and take the conversation to gay marriage. That will help you get a better idea of where they stand and how strongly. Truly homophobic people will not be able to remain rational when gay marriage is being discussed and their anger and vitriol will come out. Of course, whether or not talking religion or politics in the workplace is appropriate depends on your specific situation.
If a company's policy or the law in the city that I'm working doesn't protect me from discrimination, I won't work there. I just finished a temp job, and I only told 3 coworkers. Everyone was fine with it (and apparently a couple other employees including one of my bosses are completely out), but I wanted to keep a low profile. I think my instinct to take the temperature of the place before I say anything to anyone was a good one, and I'll do the same at my next placement wherever that ends up.
I have been with the company for a few years now, and strike up conversations about gay marriage when appropriate. While I have found some coworkers supportive (which is reliving) there are more, that are not as supportive. I do remember when caitlyn Jenner came out this year a lot of coworkers were talking (mostly negative) about her. And to the other point I wouldn't work there eitherif it didn't pay so well or have great benifits.It's hard to find a well paying job these days
My experience has taught me that it's not so much that you can or will be fired, its how your interpersonal relations with your co-workers and supervisors might change. That's an assessment you have to make. No different than how coming out will affect your relationship with your family. I was fortunate in one situation and not so much in another. There are definitely people who set the tone for a workplace and they need not be supervisors. What will their reaction likely be? Sure, there are laws. But you still have to do a risk assessment and determine not necessarily the chances that you will get fired, but how the personal dynamic will change and how far you are willing to go if and when it does. At my previous job, I did not get fired, I just became so isolated I quit. Filing complaints only made it worse. And I will tell you this was an organization that made a big deal about how inclusive and socially responsible it was. I decided the financial reward was just not worth the pain - but staying in the closet wasn't worth it either. Best wishes and good luck!
