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I'm about to come out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Daemon, Dec 18, 2015.

  1. Daemon

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    I'm about to come out and I'm writing a small letter through facebook. Will you read it for me? If I'm honest with myself I just need validation to go out and do this or else I won't be able to. If I was going to lie I would be saying does it sound alright is there something I'm missing? Feel free to validate me (please *begs*) and tell me if overall it sounds alright.

    I need to get this out there. It's horribly inconvenient because I have rejected this part of myself and have gotten mad at people for even assuming this about me. I'm not going to say this to hurt anyone because more then anything it has hurt me to hold it in but I am bisexual. Some people may go as far as to say I knew it but please don't because I didn't even know until recently. It has helped my confidence incredibly I feel like I can be me without having to be someone else. I would like to think that everyone who I have chosen to make my friend will accept me regardless of this minor inconvenience. It was a major battle mentally for me to even consider this as something that could be happening in my life but I said I would rather be happy as myself then "happy" as pseudo-me. I've also always said I'm against just coming out but I never understood because it's never happened to me before but when I realized that I am still okay as a human an overwhelming need came over me that has been lingering in my mind for long enough. Yes it's hypocritical of me but there is nothing to do but be honest now. And of course this opens a slew of questions that I will try to answer. I am still me the awkward and shy guy who loves reading. This is extremely scary for me to say but in the long run I'll be happier for it.
     
  2. alli o

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    I am so proud of you this is such a big step you can do it! also if you would like some references on this site there are examples of coming out letters you could read and see if you would like to add anything bt honest it is best raw and from you heart with what you want to say not whaat we want you to say
     
  3. Daemon

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    After reading the ones of the site I think I'm going to write a seperate letter on facebook that only they can see and block them from seeing this one. I need something a bit more personal for them.
     
  4. Patagonia

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    Overall, I think it is a fabulous letter. Great job! I'm just not a big fan of Facebook. This is such a personal message that is going to be delivered in a somewhat impersonal manner. While it may be impractical to call or write every individual friend, some might deserve to hear it directly from you or in a personal letter. Reading about it on Facebook amongst silly pictures of cats and news about Donald Trump doesnt give it the full attention this news requires. Best wishes ad congratulations for taking this incredible step!
     
  5. Daemon

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    I don't particularily like facebook either in fact I only have 37 friends but I guess by doing it all at once releases a lot of pressure off my shoulders. These 37 people are those I judged bring something good to who I am and that's why I feel like I can trust them. I am doing a seperate letter for my parents that is much more personal that I will be posting on here also in this thread.

    ---------- Post added 18th Dec 2015 at 10:52 PM ----------

    Here's the letter to my parents:

    This is something that I have been struggling with in secret for a period of time and I think I am finally able accept it. I am bi-sexual. I have always been against coming out as I feel it is something personal that does not need to be shared but when I realized this aspect about myself a pressure builds up inside that makes you want to release this tension. Yes this makes me a hypocrite but I have to be honest or I'm not going to be happy. This does not mean I do not want children or a wife either it means I have had to go through a mental struggle so deep it almost shattered me. I think the real struggle I have had is trying to seperate myself from (pretend name here) who I think makes a lot of bad life choices which if I'm similar to him will reflect poorly on me. It's not a part of me I wanted or asked for it's something that hit me like a ton of bricks recently. I had to essentially go through the 5 stages of grief to get through it. (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance). Denial is the hardest part to get through in my opinion I had to say to myself that it's not true so many times and once I said it enough I became angry at myself mainly thinking that there is something wrong with me that I am not who I want to be, bargaining was probably the easiest part I bargained with myself saying that if I ignored this then my happiness would just come to me, depression wasn't that bad either as I'm fairly good at coping and once I got through that I just had to accept it or live in virtual sadness. I can understand if you both have to go through this process but don't let my life hamper yours. I do not want to make this aspect of myself something that is a major topic of discussion as I don't like to bring attention to myself but if there are any questions you have for me don't hesitate to ask and I'll try to answer. I do not want you to think of me as anything other then who I have always been. So please don't deny this small part of me and please do not make this part of me of your view of me.
     
  6. MetalRice

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    I think it's a very well-written letter, I wish you luck.
     
  7. Daemon

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    Well I posted both of them. good luck to me. QQ I regret it right now but I know better and I'll be alright. My ears are literally ringing.
     
  8. headsup1958

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    Good for you. Its a big step to take and I understand your desire to do it this way. When I came out to a couple sisters, I wasn't able to just call them up and say, "Surprise! Guess what?". So I IM'd them on Face Book just saying, "So, you're pretty open minded and progressive, right?". When I hit the send button, I was committed. One responded within 20 minutes saying, "Yeah, what's up?". So I called her right away, and with the ice broken, was able to tell her. Once emboldened, I called the other sister before she got my Face Book IM and told her. So I got the job done!

    While I consider myself completely out now, I have only told those in my family I am close to. The others will figure it out on their own. I'm 57 and both my parents are deceased, but I know if they were alive today they would be loving and accepting. I moved 1200 miles from home a year ago so don't have any friends here to come out to. The others back "home"? Well, I'll approach as the need arises.