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Parents just got back, feel like offing myself now...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Greggers, Jan 25, 2009.

  1. Greggers

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    If you have not read my other post about my parents, try and find it.

    OK! SO! My parents are back after getting up and running away last wednsday because they hate that im gay. The first thing they throw at me after they get back?

    "We are getting rid of your Dog"

    Second thing?

    "We dont like the new church your going to"

    OH MY FUCKING GOD.

    First of all, my dog has been the pillar of my life for many years. It seems like the only person in the entire world that is not against me is my dog. I spend more time with my dog than my parents or most of my friends. Some days, the only reason i can think of for getting up is that my dog is there. I had a two month period without my dog, and lets just say it was VERY dark. I dont want to go back there, but my parents WILL not let me get another animal. I repeat, i AM NOT ABLE to get another animal no matter what now. And without that non-judgmental animal im afraid of what will happen. They are getting rid of him because my mom gets headaches around him.

    Second of all, this new church im going to is AMAZING. I cried today when i went because i realized that the true story of Christ is not "Do everything on this list or you burn for eternity in hell". Ive never seen it put in a way that does NOT make it all into one big guilt trip until today. But of course, the church is too Liberal and my parents think its a cult (feels like its "Oh noes. you dont stand while you sing? ITS A CULT OF DEVIL WORSHIPPERS!").

    All this right after they run away because they are mad at me for being gay and not hiding it from everyone.

    HONESTLY at this point, dumpster diving in downtown vancouver seems like a great life. I would brave the cold nights as a homeless man before living under this roof any day. I want a way OUT! This is driving me INSANE!!!!!!! I thought i had things figured out atleast somewhat. I was coming out to friends, grasping my religion, making new friends, and feeling better about my body. I dont know what to do...

    :***::help::bang::tantrum::tears:
     
    #1 Greggers, Jan 25, 2009
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2009
  2. Jonah 4

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    (*hug*)
    I'm so sorry, personally I would try to seek out a counselor. Don't let your parents screw up your life. Be happy, even if they aren't. IMHO, they have breached their roles as parents. They are the ones that have to change not you(well I'm sure you know that).
     
  3. Swamp56

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    :frowning2:

    I'm sorry about that...maybe you should, like the above poster said, speak to someone?
     
  4. Lychee

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    I agree, with above posters, with talking to someone. I totally understand what you mean about your dog, I feel the exact same way. I know it seems like your parents won't listen to you, but maybe if you told them how you feel the same way that you have told us - calmly, logically and encourage them to also voice their emotions (without taking out their anger on you.)
    Hope it gets better
    (*hug*)
     
  5. InaRut

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    That is really sad. As a dog lover myself I would kil before anyone took my dog away from me! (Even though techincally university has taken my dogs away from me--or me away from my dogs). Perhaps it's time you tell your parents that the only way they are going to have a son is if there son is gay. It's gotta be tough love.

    I think your best bet is perhaps stay with some friends for a while. Find some people taht will help you get over this little crutch in your life. Tell your parents you don't want to live in a place where you don't feel loved, and live with some friends.

    Your parents have to realize that the love for you should conquer over your sexuality.

    And sorry if this totally doesn't make sense or is totally poorly written but I am TIRED.

    DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOUR DOG :angry:. Or I will totally go angry Walrus on them!
     
  6. george678

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    This is so depressing seriosuly you should get a councellor or have you get any money where you can move out temporarly?
     
  7. wallflower

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    What cruel parents you have. It is so heartless to threaten to take away your dog like that as some sort of punishment. And you are 18 - it is none of their business what your faith is and what church you go to. You have RIGHTS!
     
  8. Maddy

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    Have your parents already taken the dog away? If not, try to keep it with you day and night. Do you think you could talk to anyone at the church and see if there's anyone there who could help you, or is there a friend whose couch you can crash on for a while? I'm so sorry this is happening (*hug*)
     
  9. hidden365

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    I'd think about extended family, they are your family and if things get bad, its nice to have someone trustworthy that could take you in.
     
  10. Pendrin2020

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    I think that it's definitely time to speak to a professional. preferably one of your choosing. Your school should be able to help you with this, if they have a set of counselors on staff. Just be as honest as you can be and look for help.
     
  11. xequar

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    You're 18, right? Time for a job and an apartment. I know from experience that it's possible to work and go to school at the same time. My roommate works a 40-hour per week job and is taking 12 credits right now.

    You can do it. It's not easy, but it would probably be a far better alternative to putting up with your parents' shit.
     
  12. Peter

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    Talk to someone, get a job, I don't want to repeat everything that has already been said above, but generally that's it. My first recommendation would be that you talk to the pastor of your church. Tell him what is happening and ask them for support in this. What you are telling is very close to psychological abuse.(*hug*) and :kiss:
     
  13. Jim1454

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    Your parents are being childish and mean.

    However, it is their house. And if they have decided that they don't want a dog around that's their right. (If it bothers your mom for some reason, then that's not an unreasonable thing to ask - even if it is mean.) Is there someone that would be willing to keep your dog for you so you could visit it and still essentially own it even if it's not at your house?

    Beyond that, you're 18 years old, and can make up your own mind. Unless your parents are telling you to leave, then do your own thing. If they don't like the church you go to, that's tough. Go anyways. You're a big boy now, and can make your own decisions.

    If you can't handle living without your dog and / or living with your parents, then it's time to start looking for alternative living arrangements. Don't based your future on someone else (i.e. your parents) changing. Figure out how you can change, and do it.
     
  14. Mickey

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    Wow. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It seems like your parents are just mean.
    They don't like you being gay,so ,it seems,they're making things as bad as possible
    for you. Please,don't give up & don't give in. It's your life and someday they will
    be sorry for the way they treat you. Do you have family or friends that you can stay with?
    The best alternative is,get the hell out of their house! Nobody should be treated this way.
    I don't know what else to say,except hang in there,for YOU. And I do agree that
    seeking out a professional will help. You need to be able to talk to someone
    that's sensible. Good luck,hon. I wish I could help you more.
     
  15. MusicIsLife

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    You're 18 years old, you can move out.
     
  16. crystaltriforce

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    i say you should move out and take the dog with you.
     
  17. tallship

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    I don't know what to say ,i know how much a dog can be at times the only emotional support a person can have. But offing yourself is no good for you or your dog , been there done that.Your young and your life lies ahead of you make the most of it. I'm across the ocean but if there's anything practical I can do to help just ask and i'll do what i can ,not much i expect but the offer is there. The advice from others is sound I hope you can hang in there and work this through Take care .(*hug*)
     
  18. Ajax

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    Dude whether or not the dog thing is a deliberate "punishment" on the part of your parents it's very rough. It sounds like they are having difficulty coping - and that is fair enough if they are very religious. What is not fair enough is them taking it out on you, and you having to put up with it. Like other people have said, I would talk to someone you trust at your church. If it comes to it, they may be able to help you in the short term with some cheap accommodation or with finding a job.

    But I would recommend trying to talk to them first. Don't just do what they did to you and run. Obviously easier said than done, but try sitting down with them and telling them that their leaving was very difficult on you at exactly the time you needed their help. Tell them that you feel they are taking away your dog because you are gay. Tell them that whatever is going on in thier head is going on ten times over in yours. Tell them that you want to live at home, but that you can't if they are going to behave like this. Tell them you will move out if it doesn't stop. Tell them you don't expect an answer right away but ask them to think about it. Hopefully in time they will come round. If they don't, you know you did everything you could. Maybe like Jim said you could find a place to keep the dog. I would only move out as a last resort.

    But if you can't get on, then I would definitely move out. You are 18 and you shouldn't have to put up with being harrassed by your own family.

    Sorry to hear you are doing it tough. In a year's time you will look back on this and it will seem a lot simpler.
     
  19. beckyg

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    Oh my gosh....this is ridiculous. Your parents are using something that is important to you to punish you for something that is totally out of your control. :frowning2: You really do need to get out of there. Talk to somebody at your church. I wish I lived close to you. I'd let you come stay with me!
     
  20. george678

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    Thats kind^!