I accepted myself as bi about 8 months ago But, despite wanting to I have not been able to muster up enough courage to come out to anyone. Ive known my best friend for close to 11 years and feel like I'm obligated to tell her first. I KNOW she will accept me I just don't know how to bring up the fact that I'm bi. But here's the thing, I don't know if I want to even tell her first, but whenever I think about coming out to any other friends I feel guilty that I wouldn't be telling my best friend first. I feel like since we've been friends for so long I should be comfortable coming out to her, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't know if that made any sense and sorry for rambling but any input would be greatly appreciated
Hello, If she's your best friend and you do this sort of thing, maybe go to a mall and ask her to spot any cute men or women for you. I know this isn't stating your sexuality, but a best friend might* make an in jest joke and then say 'okay, what about them?'. *I have no real life idea if this is what best friends do, but I've seen it on TV.
Hi there! Try not to overthink it - it can happen quite easily. To start, try to stand in front of a mirror, and say out loud: 'today I want to come out to [name of best friend], and gauge how you feel. If everything feels right, try to take her aside and speak with her. You could also wait for the right moment to present itself. The next time your best friend brings up that she is attracted to someone or can see herself with a particular person being together, this would be a good moment to bring up your own attractions. You could for example say: "I'm still trying to find the right guy or girl." As you have mentioned that you are not sure if you want to come out to her first, would there be another person you would feel more comfortable with?
Is there something you fear about telling her? I have a best friend too. He's straight. I would do anything for him. If his house was on fire and I needed help, he would drop the hose and come help me. That said. I am petrified of telling him or that he will find out. Is he a homophone? No. Is he going to bolt the door and shut me out? Truthfully, I don't know. Maybe what I fear is losing him.i m just not sure its worth it.
Mirko--I like the idea of just slipping it into conversation. Thanks for that tip. I have two people in mind that I feel fairly comfortable coming out to. I also know they will both accept me still and I'm not as close to either of them so I think that makes me feel better about coming out to them. There's not as much history with them so it seems safer maybe? ---------- Post added 21st Dec 2015 at 03:06 PM ---------- Patagonia--hearing that I'm not alone in fearing telling someone close to me helps a lot. Thank you for sharing. My best friend would do anything for me as well. we have "broken up" for months at a time before and I don't want to cause anything to change. I love our relationship right now and like you said, is it worth risking it? My bestie won't leave if I come out to her (I'm pretty sure at least) but there will be some change in how she interacts with me I'm sure. I'm not fearful of how she'll react per say, more of the action of telling her and how our relationship will change in subtle ways. But fearing telling her also makes me feel guilty because she tells me absolutely everything, I kinda feel like a bad friend not telling her.
