I know this seems dumb but... How do I come out as trans?

Well, it's up to you. However, it would probably be best to come out about it before you undergo any sort of transitioning efforts. If you begin to transition, people will simply notice changes in your appearance and behavior........ and it will come as a major shock. I have known one person who was transgender (MtF) and his way of coming out was to dress in all traditionally female clothing (e.g. dress, long socks, hair in a ponytail, painted his nails, and pretty much every type traditionally feminine attire that one could wear). So, you could do that, wear certain items of clothing prior to coming out....... and kind of cue people with it. However, I wouldn't do anything to change your physical appearance until you have already come out. As for the misgendering and confusion, that is unfortunately unavoidable to some degree. People are bound to forget and get confused. My friend lived in a very accepting area with very accepting friends, but people still got confused and used the wrong pronouns at times. Over the course of time, people have gotten used to it. However, there are still a few people that refuse to use the correct pronouns...... despite it being a fairly accepting area and circle of people. That is probably also common as well, that there will always be those few that just never really want to take the whole thing seriously. However, if you are in an accepting environment overall, people will generally take it seriously and address you appropriately.

 

My niece who is the bravest person I know. Tested the water with her very redneck family by letting them know she liked boys. That went over pretty well. Then she started cosplaying as girls. Her grandmother helped her sew some outfits. The family got kinda used to seeing her dressed up. Then she finally just had the talk with them. This part didn't go over as well, mostly because grandmother was very adverse to her having surgery. It's been a couple of years now and everyone is very accepting now and completely refer and treat her as a girl. She hasn't had any surgery done yet, but started hormones recently. It wasn't an easy time for her and she had to be very understanding and forgiving. Klutzes like me would slip up and call her by her old name out of habit even though I fully supported her. It mostly just takes time I think. She is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I'm so proud of her.

 

You just got to give it time. A couple of people in my family found out before I got home for Christmas and I spent an entire afternoon hearing both he and she when referring to me. I would say to come out before you start hormones; that and the wait for it gives you all that time.

Some people write a letter/email about their feelings, some just try to say the words. I'm kinda cheating and using a letter my therapist wrote, hopefully next week. Coming out is a strange thing and is different for everyone. You need to find a way that feels right for you.