I finally got a circle of friends. But none of them know i'm gay. I beleive my best friend in the group may be homophobic because she has said things about gay people before that i find to be a bit negative. I feel that i'd be lying if i didn't tell them. my mom says "what difference does it make what your sexual orientation is to them?". because they talk about guys and boyfriends. i want to be able to talk about gurls and gurlfriends without them feeling uncomfortable. i don't want to be abondoned by them if they find out i'm gay. i'd rather lie. but I'm not going to take down the gay propaganda on the inside of my closet. they'll come over evantually. i know they'll look in my closet. what am i going to say "guess i'm out of the closet now?" they might think i'm joking and when they find out i'm not i'm afriad that they'll hate me. i don't know what to do. should i tell them or let them find out on their own. or *gasp* remove my gay pride stuff in my closet (which would be literally pushing me deeper back into it...) i want to be out... but i want so badly to keep the friends that i finally have.
The LAST thing you should do is go back further into the closet. My question is, why do you want to have friends who you think wouldn't accept you if you came out? I've told three people so far, and two (yes, one came to his senses) have accepted me and one hasn't. I don't want to be friends with someone who isn't going to accept me for who I am once I tell them. Personally, I don't think you really want friends, I think you want people to give you company, which isn't a reason to make a friend or keep one. When I come out to my family and friends in a few weeks, from that point forward, I'm not going to be telling someone I'm straight, because that would be essentially playing a game. Like, it's ok for these people to know I'm gay, and it's not ok for these people, and I have to try and keep them seperate so I can stay in the closet and continue to be depressed and stressed out all the time. I know the people in my new school are going to ask, "So, do you have a girlfriend," or "Who do you think is hot," and I'm just going to tell them I'm gay, which is what I think you should do.
Like Jersey said, if they don't accept you they aren't worth having as friends. There's two guys I work with who used to often use words like 'fag' and 'queer' in a nasty way, or make fun of gay people, I won't tell the whole story but once one of them said he would stop listening to a band if he found out they were gay! Anyway eventually I came out to them, and they spent two whole days apologising for things they had said in the past, and really accepted me and haven't treated me any differently. So what I'm saying in a long-winded way is that you might be pleasantly suprised!
Never remove the gay pride..Thats just uncalled for. lol If you feel they cant handle it then I would let them find out for themselves... Thats what I plan on doing with my parents..though I feel that my dad knows now because EC was the first thing on my address bar when i clicked the down arrow to the side and i remember it being myspace...EC was like the 5th thing so he had to of clicked it. maybe i am just being paranoid caue he hasnt acted strangely or anything. So i would let them find/figure it out. If they ask who you liek say a girls name
Just let them find out on their own.. don't worry most of the time people make homophobic comments without thinking because they think it is funny... you want friends that you can enjoy hanging out with.. if you have to hide who you are you will end up loosing interest in them anyways.... and the sooner they find out the better... give them a change.. don't let them make you uncomfortable much longer...
alright, i'll let them find out on their won. i'm worried since i heard that if you go to a catholic school (which i do) and they find out that theyu might kick you out. they would be awful! and i don't want them spreading it around the school like gossip. it's and all girl school and people would definalty start acting weird around me. *sigh* i hope i can trust them...
I was going to say that i youir friends don't accept you for who you are then they aren't really your friends. Which is true, however you're still in school which is such a different and more pressurised environment than the big wide world. I'd advise you to keep quiet until you leave school because alliances change very easily in school and it can be a cruel place.
just ask yourself; can i live without them? how important is it to me that they know? i think you should establish a real relationship with them, and then let them know your orientation. as it is now, it is your business. i think, it being such a personal, (and if your like me,'touchy') you should keep it too yourself.
