I have a problem. I have a really huge thing for one of my best friend's best friends. Her name is Abby. And she's gorgeous. Anyway, my friend is pretty positive Abby's straight and all, but of course that doesn't stop me from liking her. I see Abby sometimes at school and we exchange smiles and hellos, but I just feel like I need to do something to get closer. She's not the typical girl by any means. Meaning she's not very open and out there, I'll have to go to her. But I don't know how to approach this. Abby knows I'm bi, and she has no problem with it. So I really want to maybe tell her that I like her (although definitely leave out the part about how much I do). The problem is if she doesn't take it well that leaves my best friend caught inbetween us two and I really don't want that for her. So I thought about writing an anonymous letter or something, anything, but I just don't know what to do. Help!
I vote you try to become closer with her before you tell her that you like her. I've got plenty of friends that are just fine with gay people, but would be a little freaked out if a person of the same sex told them that they liked them.
Does your friend know that you're interested in Abby? If not, maybe you could let her know that you'd like the three of you to hang out sometime because you'd like to get to know Abby better. I'd say your best option is to get to know her as a friend first (probably through your friend), rather than jump into telling her you're interested in her.
I'm just going to echo what others have said, get to know her better first, then, come and ask us for advice again, lol =D
Update: So my friend did know I like Abby, however she wasn't aware of how much. So I wrote this four page letter explaining where I'm at in my life as a whole, and then narrowing it down to Abby. She ended up crying and said she has no idea how much I liked her and that I thought all of the things I do about her. So I've enlisted her and two other friends to help me get closer to Abby and see where we go from there. I'll definitely be back for more advice, haha. Thanks all!
but i want to know do you want abby to be your girlfriend or best friend . i mean if she is straight (100% claimed by your friend) then hoping more would cause you sadness
See right now I just want to get close to her so I can figure her out, because I'm the only gay person my friend knows. So that being said, she's not really good with figuring that sort of thing out, and doesn't really think to look for clues. I've noticed some things about Abby that might point to her not being completely straight, even if she's just sort of questioning it right now. So I want to get closer to her so I can figure it out, and if she ends up being definitely straight then I'll leave it at that and get over her. If not then I'm going to go for it. I just sort of need to know how I should go about that, ya know.
I agree with the suggestion that you get to know Abby better first, before telling her how you feel. This is especially so if your feelings are as strong as you say. I'd also like to say here - and don't take this the wrong way! - is to ask how well you actually know Abby? I mean, I've certainly been there before myself, majorly crushing on a girl I know only a little - and bear in mind that the less well you know her, the weirder it will be if you tell her you like her, and she turns out completely straight. I would recommend getting to know her better, like you say you're going to, and perhaps very subtly flirting or whatever - but also bear in mind that even if is she is gay or bi (and likes you), she may not have realised this yet or may not be comfortable with it. Alternatively, if she is straight and doesn't like you like that she may still pick up the subtle flirting and flirt with you for the hell of it, for whatever reasons of her own. - I just say these things as they are some problems you may have to deal with as you get to know her better! ie. her acting straight when she's actually gay, or acting gay when she's actually straight (why oh why is life so complicated??!) Good luck!
I know Abby pretty well right now, we're just not that close. I don't plan on telling her how I feel until I know her, that was never my plan. I just WISH I could. What you're saying makes perfect sense because I've met plenty of girls who flirt for the hell of it, or who don't but still wish they could. I usually forget about that being a possibility, so thanks for reminding me before I really screwed myself over.
