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Coming out to family, i now have a good opportunity to, but i dont want to?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MusicIsLife, Jan 27, 2009.

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  1. MusicIsLife

    MusicIsLife
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    Basically heres whats going on:

    My cousin [like second or 3rd or something like that, shes in her 40s so shes more like an aunt to me] added me on facebook. I havent added or back or rejected her, more or less cause im not sure what to do. See, my sexuality is posted on it, and i dont really wanna take it down and/or change it because then i;d feel like a real liar and a fake.

    I asked my mom and she said that shes really open and accepting, but at the same time im worried that she'll tell someone in the family [we're an extremely close family] or act weird around me or something.

    What should I do? Accept her, reject her or just ignore the request?
     
    #1 MusicIsLife, Jan 27, 2009
  2. Maddy

    Maddy
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    The exact thing happened to me a few months ago, an aunt added me on Facebook and I wasn't sure whether to accept the request or not. Eventually I figured that she'd find out eventually, and added her - I've spoken to her a few times since then, and there's been no comment on it at all. Maybe you could add her and leave the ball in her court, or maybe send her a quick message saying something like "can you please not spread it around?" Good luck!
     
    #2 Maddy, Jan 27, 2009
  3. Markio

    Markio
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    My facebook was set on "Interested in Women" until I realized I was lying to myself, so I just removed it and put "Looking for Friendship". It doesn't say my sexuality, but I'm not lying either. Of course, I always warn people not to say anything incriminating on my wall.

    I'm facebook friends with my mom, two aunts, my siblings and a cousin, so it's not like I can change my mind anytime soon.
     
    #3 Markio, Jan 27, 2009
  4. touch me

    touch me Guest

    i think you should accept her, and be open to her asking questions. This gives you control over the information she will have about you. it also opens a new channel of communications with the rest of your family.
     
    #4 touch me, Jan 27, 2009
  5. biisme

    biisme
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    You said she's worried she might tell other people in your family. Are other people in your family less accepting?
     
    #5 biisme, Jan 27, 2009
  6. MusicIsLife

    MusicIsLife
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    Oh yes. I know some family members who would never let me near their young children again if they found out :/
     
    #6 MusicIsLife, Jan 27, 2009
  7. thebikelady

    thebikelady
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    You can go to the privacy section and set up a group of people that you want to block certain info from. I have work people set up this way so that when I go to accept them, I automatically add them to the group. Or you could just block her from that section as soon as you add her. Top right hand corner.
     
    #7 thebikelady, Jan 27, 2009
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