Probably worded the title weirdly. I meant to ask is it cowardly for somebody else to tell someone I'm gay for me? I came out to my aunt earlier this year and she's been very supportive. I'm having a hard time telling my mom and she knows that (they're sisters). She even suggested that she tell my mom or if she could be the third person in the room in case my mom doesn't take the news well. She said she would know how to talk to my mom about this issue. My aunt cares about me and said she wants me to just be me without fear of what my mother thinks. I did tell my mom in the past that I'm gay but she simply refused to believe me and thought I was lying. If she doesn't believe me, then how about my aunt talks to my mother one-on-one slowly about this issue? Would that hurt?
I don't think it's cowardly, but I feel like the effect will be a lot stronger if you were to tell your mom with your aunt in the room. If you just let your aunt talk to your mom, there's a good chance that she'll get mad at your aunt and not believe her. If you're there, it'll seem more real.
I'm definitely considering that and my aunt even agrees that might be the best bet. I think that would help out tremendously if she's there. Thanks!
This might be a little different because I'm transgender, but my mom actually came out a lot for me. I just thought it was awkward to talk to all the family members so I asked her to do it and she agreed. I don't think it's cowardly at all. Coming out can be really stressful and frightening. I definitely agree that coming out with your aunt in the room would be your safest bet, if anything goes wrong your aunt will be there to help you out and it'll seem less scary. If you really don't want to come out face to face, how would you feel about writing a letter?
Glad it sounds like your mom is doing a great job helping you out and I agree it would be easier. Coming out is always stressful for me and I know it is for many other people. I like your suggestion of writing a letter - I never thought of doing that but I think that would possibly make it less nerve-wrecking. I might give it a shot. Also, welcome to EC!
Hi :3 I agree with the others, it's a good idea to have your aunt in the room, and you being the one telling her. If she reacts negatively again, says you're lying, etc, your aunt will be there to stand up for you. Most likely if your aunt is there then you will be more protected.
