Hi. I'm new to this site btw. So, a little background info. I come from a very conservative family, which is also pretty religious (protestant). School environment is supposedly gay friendly, according to teachers talking about gay-rights etc, but you never really know what goes on behind closed doors. I've known for almost two years now that I've been gay, but looking back on my childhood, i was always different. I told one person i was gay, and another sorta figured it out on her own. Total of two people know right now, but they are really close friends, and both of them are girls. I have no idea how i would come out to my guy friends. Besides, splitting them off and telling them individually. Figuring out how to tell people is one thing, but actually telling them is quite a different story. I've tried to tell my dad recently, but whenever the thought comes to mind, i close up, my stomach knots, and i just can't talk. I've been getting to know myself abit better, and find out more about gay lifestyles, and w/e. Someone told me that if i know enough about it, I'll be more confident in it. He also told me to get more comfortable with who I am, before trying to convince others to accept it. I think I'v egotten to know myself quite a bit over these last few months...but I still find myself lacking courage to tell my family, or my friends. If anyone has some advice, it woudl be greatly apprieciated. Thanks
Hey first of all welcome to EC, well I came out to my family recently and it was hard very also I am 13 so yer I did not chose to come out any other way other than face to face you can though come out by letter maybe you want to come out that way and leave it somewhere you parents will read? I am George by the way.
I think that might be the best thing. Maybe its time to come out and i just have to force it out there. I don't think I can just outright tell them, so I'll leave a letter somewhere my parents will find it.
Letters are a great way to go, many people have posted theirs on this site so if you need help thinking of what to say, that's always a great place to start. With a letter, you can tell them everything you want them to know without being interrupted or shut down. Good luck, I hope all goes well, don't rush into anything... Carmen
Oh Wild Rose Country? Hi and welcome to EC from Beautiful British Columbia I am glad you joined EC! The right place to figure things out and start the coming out process. You have already accomplished quite a bit. You have accepted yourself and you have already come out to two friends. Way to go! I think it is fantastic that you are getting to know yourself better and trying to understand what it means to be gay. This will definitely help you in coming out to others. Telling someone can always be difficult because we never really know for sure the kind of reaction we might be getting. However, the more you know your friends the easier it should become to tell them. Often it is also a matter of timing and whether you feel comfortable in your surroundings. Quite often, when someone comes out, they feel securer and/or more comfortable in a familiar setting or in a place where there is enough privacy where they feel they can talk freely. Maybe what you could try, pick a friend to whom you would like to come out to. Invite him/her for a coffee or just go for a walk with him/her. The first sentence is always the hardest but it does get easier thereafter. Sometimes (and as you have already experienced it) it can take a few tries. At the same time, when we get awkward feelings or feel that it might not be right, it can be a sign that we are not ready at this stage to come further out, which is totally fine. For some telling their parents can be quite a big step. Perhaps it might not be a bad idea if you would keep building up your support network before you come out to your parents. For example, you could try joining a LGBT support group in your community. Often talking with others who have gone through what you are going through right now, can help in becoming more comfortable and also in building up the necessary courage. The ones who have gone before us, often become role models and we find some or get some inspiration from them. Also, you have mentioned that you are talking with someone about coming out. I would certainly continue talking with him. Once you have built up your support network, try perhaps again to come out to your parents. You don't say how old you are, but sometimes it is better to wait in particular if you are financially dependent on your parents, and if you are not sure how accepting your parents are. I hope this helps you a little bit. Again, welcome to EC!
Shyguy, how old are you? If you have a real conservative family, I'd find out what they think of gay people in general before deciding to tell them if you're young enough where they can make your life a living hell.
