I am an A and A+ student. Last year my lowest grade in anything (excluding sport) was 84% on my physics exam. I quite enjoy learning. All my life, I have been one of those rare students who actually leaps out of bed ready to take on a new school day, however, in about 3rd or 4th term last year I developed an irrational fear of going to school. I now dread waking up every morning, about once or twice a week I cry because I’m so scared of going to school the next day. I get a sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach whenever I think about it. Nothing has changed. I am not getting bullied, but the amount that I worry about school, it’s as bad as if I am. As I write this, I am literally shaking with fear, because school goes back in 14 hours time, after approximately 7 weeks of summer holidays. Mum has noticed my fear - kinda hard not to, really - and is worried that people are picking on me. She is wanting me to change schools, but I am not sure where I would go, and if I would be any happier there. I would say that I am fairly popular, got lots of friends, the teachers all adore me. I am going into year 11, and it is imperative that I focus on my schooling as I am doing two year 12 subjects, which go towards my ENTER score (basically, a single number that you get at the end of your schooling life which is all that the majority of universities use for entrance requirements.) Another school would not guarantee me the subjects that I have chosen, and also I go to a top private school in my area, with school fees at approximately $21,000 a year. Thankfully, I am on a 75% scholarship, but by leaving the school, I would forfeit it, and my mum could not afford any other school of similar quality, without the scholarship. I figure I’ve only got two years left, and I don’t know whether my fear is of my school, or just school in general - and I don’t want to gamble with my future. And a final complaint about school - just today I found out my teacher for year 12 mathematical methods (maths of medium difficulty) and it happens to be the director of curriculum. I hear she is a good and experienced teacher, but she is horrible!! Last year, I was one of 16 people in the state chosen for this individual mentoring project at a university. (Basically, it was just a load of bull - this university is well known for ‘handpicking’ 15-17 year old students, and welcoming them to the university, so that when the time comes for them to choose, they go with the one that they know most about, and are comfortable with.) Anyway, this teacher, Mrs Grant, was my ‘go-to’ person at school with anything to do with this program. When I was first chosen, as she was on of the selectors who voted for me, she gave me a whole speech about how the school was ‘investing in me’ and I had better not disappoint them. This freaked me out so much! She kept on talking about it, and bringing it up throughout the five month program. At the end of the year, awards were announced, and the top 20 students in each year level were given awards. I came 7th (those sport grades were letting me down again ) and she came up to me to congratulate me and her exact words were ‘congratulations, [Lychee], I’m proud of you, but next year, I expect you to do better.’ :\ She absolutely stresses me out, and therefore, I anticipate a very... interesting year in her class. Aarrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :bang:
What exactly are you freaking out about? I'm assuming it's generic stress. Fear of failure, fear of not living up to your (or someone else's) expectations. Does that sound about right? Whatever it is, get proactive about it. Any school (especially one that costs money) is bound to have counselors there. Go make an appointment with one, day one. And lay out for him/her what you've laid out here for us. "I've always been a good student, but school is become more and more of a major stress than an enjoyment, to the point that I totally dread going to school at all anymore." He/she will probably be able to help you cope with the stress, and hopefully get beyond it. Lex
I can understand how you've got into the state that you're in. Lex's advice is good - speak to someone about how you're feeling. Keeping it all bottled up isn't working - I'm sure you'd agree. So try something else. Perhaps I can help put things in perspective for you though. I attended a very mediocre high school. It did NOT have very high academic standards or expectations. I excelled and ranked very high in my class - although I don't think they ranked the students quite as you have explained. And yes, my marks got me a scholarship at a decent university - by no means the 'best in the land' though. But once I was in, my high school grades counted for nothing. I excelled there too - I think actually ranked 2nd in my graduating class from business school. However, I didn't get recruited. Many of my friends did get jobs right away, but I didn't. I was hired 2 or 3 months after graduating, while many of my friends had a job lined up as early as the previous November. But I did get a job. And once hired, my university marks counted for nothing. My highschool marks counted for less than nothing. What mattered whas how I performed in that job. Had I ranked 3rd or 4th or 40th in my graduating class really wouldn't have mattered. Most of what I learned isn't really applied anyway! So... try to remember that there is more to life than where you rank. University admissions departments DO take into account the highschool you're coming from, not just the grades you've received. They know that standards are different at different schools, and if you're attending a respected private school then that will serve you VERY well. Ranking 7th is incredibly admirable. Why a teacher would make a comment like that is silly, and you have to consider whether or not it was just her (very dry) way of making a joke. She couldn't have been serious, and if she was, then SHE has a problem - not you. So while I know it's easier said than done - please try to relax and take pride in your accomplishments. It sounds like to me that you're putting far too much pressure on yourself. You've done exceptionally well thus far - and there's nothing to suggest that your success won't continue. It hasn't been luck. It has been you. But ranking 8th o4 9th or 10th or even outside of the top 20 wouldn't be the end of the world, and wouldn't change your destiny. The world has great things in store for you - I'm sure of that. Good luck at school today. (*hug*)
why are you scared of school? is there any specific reason why you hate school? in anycase, as lex said, it's best to talk with somebody about your problems and fears. but yeah, i know exactly what you mean. highschool can be a real shit sometimes...(personally i cant wait to finish highschool and college, and just get a job)
Honestly, I have absolutely no reason whatsoever to hate school. That's why I'm finding it really hard to deal with - because I don't really know what to fix. Sure, I'm stressed at school, but that hasn't changed. I find that stress helps me to perform, and therefore I've been dealing with a lot of stress ever since I started high school in year 7. Unfortunately, the place where I live, Victoria, has a system where they rank every single person in the state from best to worst at the end of year 12, and this number means the percentage of people that you have beaten - eg. 97.45 means that you have ranked higher than 97.45% of the state. This is literally all that most university courses, apart from creative arts and medicine look at, when choosing who to take in. The course I'm interested in needs an 88 - I reckon I can manage this, but I'd like to do a lot better, purely for my pride's sake, hahah And unfortunately, that teacher was dead serious. Her job basically gets ranked depending on how the year 12 students go every year, and therefore, it is in her best interests, personally, to pressure us to do well. Thankfully, I've got my closest friend from school, and her twin, in my class, so at least that's one thing that will make me eager to come to class. Less than an hour to go. And surprisingly, I'm not as scared as I was a couple of days ago. Will update on how it goes. It's forecast to be 42 degrees celsius (over 107 Fahrenheit) today. Eeurrghh Thanks for the advice. I'll go and to talk to a counsellor, although probably not the school one. I know she is bound by confidentiality laws and regulations, but from my, and other's past experiences, I don't believe her to be as secretive as she is meant to be. :\
I can totally sympathise, I suffered really badly when I was at school and still couldnt tell you why. Not sure I can be much help but you can talk to me if you like.
>>>It's forecast to be 42 degrees celsius (over 107 Fahrenheit) today. Eeurrghh. For the love of God, send some of those extra degrees our way! I've had to trudge to work every day this week with the temperature around 8F (-12C)! Lex
Your situation sounds so much like mine was. Good marks, pressure to perform, a 75% scholarship at a private school, and absolute fear of not doing well and letting people and myself down. The main thing that got me through it was accepting that some people would do better than I would, and to not focus on how well I did compared to other students, just to focus on myself (and also to ignore the people who tried to put pressure on me). You've done incredibly well, and you should be really proud. My advice for the VCE in general is to not listen to the people who give everyone the same instructions, the "you absolutely MUST study for three hours per night" lecture. I found it way more productive to do as much study as I felt I needed to do, and not try to force myself to keep studying when I didn't need to and wasn't getting anything out of it. Don't run yourself into the ground or you could easily burn out. I came through it with a 94, despite doing a couple of subjects that marked down, and with your brains, I'm sure you can make it. Good luck!
Surprisingly my first day back wasn't as stressful as predicted - they've gone for a 'we'll ease them back into learning' approach :] Lex, I would definitely give you some of the extra heat, my god, it's HORRIBLE. I'd say I'm coping quite well at the moment - will let everyone know when nervous breakdown time comes again. (And it will... it always does.) But in the meantime, thanks for all the advice and encouragement I toatz love all of you
Temperature here is perfect, at 30 degrees, but the humidity is annoying - a staggering 88%. Anyway, I'm quite sure your fear of school is merely because you have spent the past 7 weeks out of school. I'm currently returning to a new school year in a new class(in the same school but moved to the college section instead of the high school section). I'm feeling exactly the same things but I know that I just have to be myself and feel myself in that situation. Don't worry, I'm sure things will go back to normal once you have re-settled into school. Having one of your best friends in your class is bound to help as well. You may want to share your feelings with her(if it gets unbearable), i'm sure she'll understand and help you. To talk about stress, since you have already done so well, there's nothing to worry. Besides, as long as you have done your best, nobody can blame you. I'm a person who performs very badly under pressure. I need to push all the pressure away before I can do anything properly. As for the school I'm in, I'm not so worried about my results because I know I can perform and that as my school is an excellent school, it gives me an advantage. However, there are other components universities now consider, such as leadership and participation in other activities (such as a sport), which are creeping me out. This is because I'm poor as a leader and I really not good in activities as well. Everyone feels the same, we just have to get on with it and it'll be fine. I'm sure you'll do well this year, good luck and feel good!
Honestly, you might want to look into a school counselor now. That way, you can lay groundwork for what might be in the future. Just let him know that right now, things are OK. But you've had some stress issues in regards to school as of late, and you want him/her to be aware that you might be seeing him again in the future. Not only is this a good plan, it looks proactive on your part - always a bonus. Lex
I think I'm getting a new psychologist/psychiatrist soonish - like within the next month (basically, whenever mother or I end up getting around to it...) - and I think I will probably just print off this thread to show him/her. I find it really hard to talk about my feelings when prompted with questions such as 'How are you going at school?', 'Do you have many friends?' etc. because I'd say the majority of the aspects of my life look pretty good from the outside. It will at least give me a place to start from with the new person... Second day of school in 90-ish minutes. I've got pretty good subjects today And I'm going to my friend's house afterwards, and then it's the weekend !! Woot
