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How to Come Out to Parents and Classmates?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by AP0LL0, Dec 28, 2015.

  1. AP0LL0

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Hello, I'm new here... I came to terms with myself back in August and I decided that I'm sick of hiding this from everyone. I'm transgender. I've only told my closest friends, but it was rather easy because we tell each other eveything.

    Then came the issue of telling my parents, and later on my classmates when we go back to school. I have written my parents a letter, but I have no clue how to give it to them... I don't know! I'm just so lost right now and I can't figure anything out. :frowning2:

    Plus I know that my mom loves pampering me with girly things and I don't like it at all. I feel suffocated in girly or feminine clothes... But I'm so scared of disappointing her and not being the daughter she's always wanted. D:

    Also, I wanted to know if you guys liked the name Apollo... I quite like it and I'm considering taking it as my new name. But, I hinted at it to my brother and he said it was stupid. :I

    Any opinions/advice? Please?
     
  2. demigodjay

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    Apollo sounds like a cool name. Once you've come out, though, you will probably want to ask your parents before you suggest the name to make them feel like they're part of your transition.

    Now on coming out-build the courage and make sure you have a support system around you first before you come out. It's helpful if your parents aren't accepting, or they kick you out, or they're in denial and you just need to leave the house. Find a time, and you'll know when your ready, and just bring them over, or into your room. What I would do is tell one of them first, whoever you think will be more supportive, so get them to come talk to you. I would then give them the letter, and just say "you should read this". Don't cause a big dramatic build up. Leave the room, go brush your teeth or something, then come back about 5 minutes later. From then on just try to stay calm, and if they're accepting you'll know, and if they're not you'll know too. Good luck!
     
  3. JackIsANerd

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    Hi Apollo! Welcome to EC (*hug*) I think Apollo is a very nice and unique name don't listen to your brother :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I am kinda in the same boat as you at the moment so I don't have much advice to offer sadly. I am my moms only "daughter" so she tries to force a lot of girly things onto me wants me to act a certain way. :confused:

    I feel like a letter is a great idea if you want to plan out your thoughts and explain everything before they start asking questions. As for timing maybe wait for the perfect moment when they aren't busy? Maybe say you have something very serious to tell them and have them read the whole letter before they start saying anything. I am still trying to figure this part out myself I am sorry if I am not much help.

    Do you happen to know how they feel about lgbt folks? That could help predict how their reaction to the news will be. I hear dropping hints and bringing up lgbt topics is a good way to figure this out!

    I hope I helped a little bit still learning to give others advice while I myself learn about everything. I really hope everything goes well for you Apollo! :grin:
     
  4. demigodjay

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    I know my parents will be accepting, and I have an older brother and sister so I guess that helps too. I'm not the only daughter and my sister is everything my parents want (except for athletic, and I solve that problem). But the problem is, I play premiere soccer on a girls team. Coming out as transgender would make me quit soccer or be a girl there and a guy everywhere else. And it sucks to have to maintain that identity. I think I'm going to quit soccer in February when the season ends and come out during the summer. But it just sucks that I have to stop soccer. I think I'm going to join a flag football team though.
     
  5. DemiLiHue

    Regular Member

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    Apollo is quite good but I'll recommend getting a name that sounds alike the other one. It'll be easier for you & your family/friends