So I've reached this point where I feel like I need to come out. The fact that I'm in the closet feels like a weight on my shoulders, I'll just be doing something completely random or talking to someone and then I'll start thinking "I need to come out. I need to tell them I'm gay. I need to come out". The trouble is, I just can't work up the courage to come out. I'm pretty sure that everyone will be completely shocked, even though I've tried to drop some hints. I feel like my two best friends probably won't react well. One of them has talked to me on two different occasions about how awkward it was when two of her friends came out as bi to her... and I don't want to ruin our friendship and make things awkward between us. And then I am so scared to come out to my mum, because I know she'll be really upset and disappointed, she'll probably cry and I really don't feel like I can face that. So basically I really want to come out and be able to stop lying to everyone, but at the same time the act of actually coming out seems like one of the least appealing things in the world to me... :/
If your two best friends don't take your coming out well, then they probably aren't truly your best friends. In fact, I came out to my two best friends today as well. It was a gamble, and it was kind of awkward. However, they agreed to accept me for who I am, and that's all that matters. Also, you never know exactly how someone's going to react. Maybe you could find a different person who you know would accept you and come out to them first. That could alleviate some of the burden of being in the closet, and you could build a few allies. My advice for coming out to your mum would be to approach it gently. You have a pretty good understanding that she'll be very upset. However, if you feel that your well-being (physical, emotional, and mental) will be threatened in any way, then I would advise against coming out to her. Coming out isn't something you just do once and then it's over with. It's actually a long process that includes a lot of explaining. Also, there's nothing set in stone that says that you have to even come out at all unless you really want to. I would put a lot of thought into how you're going to come out to them if you decide to. You don't always have to sit down and talk with them. Sometimes, a heartfelt note explaining your situation works. That way, you can sit down for a while and think about what you want to say. I would also think about what you are going to say to each person. Every person is different and will take your coming out differently. Just be patient. Sometimes, they may even deny what you say. My mom is in denial of my sexuality. It can happen, but don't let it put a damper on who you are. You should be proud to be yourself. Patience is key in any sort of coming out that you want to do though. Let them ask questions if they have any. Try not to rush, and I would time the coming out appropriately. If someone has just had a long day at work and is frustrated, perhaps that would not be the best time to come out. The surprise would add on to the stress and would probably complicate things a lot more. Choose a time where things are relaxed and not so crazy.
