New years Resolution... Come out

Take anything I say with a grain of salt since I'm not out myself, but I think the most important thing to know is that there is no perfect way or opportunity to come out. I expect that the anxiety and anticipation will be much more stressful to you than the actual event and the aftermath, but it's never going to be an easy thing to do. I'm convinced that it's completely worth it though -- hopefully the people you tell are supportive and don't look at you any differently, but if there are some that aren't then at least you don't have to waste any of your energy on people that aren't worth your time. That's not to say it will be pleasant, but there's value in knowing who your true friends really are.

If I remember your back story correctly, you recently became your little brother's guardian after finding out that he was gay and felt it was necessary to shield him from your parents' bigotry and homophobia. That's a horrific situation, but as a small consolation you don't have to worry about coming out to your parents anymore and for most LGBT people that's the most difficult thing to do. Your profile also indicates that you're out to your closest friends already and it seems like they remain positive, stabilizing forces in your life which is a great foundation to have. You've already done the hard part.

At this point, what do you have to lose? If you come out to some of the people you're not as close with, you'll either gain the freedom to be yourself and possibly strengthen your relationship or you can cut out some people who weren't really your friends in the first place. After all, if they only like a false picture of you what do you really have? And most importantly, you have an opportunity to set an excellent example for your brother and prove to him that it's okay to be gay and prevent him from growing up self-conscious about who he is.

So yeah, push yourself out of your comfort zone momentarily and see how many doors that opens for you and how much weight is lifted off of your shoulders. I wish you the best of luck.

 

How are you a coward? You made an incredibly brave decision to take care of your brother and found the strength to come out to the people you're closest with. You might not think that counts for much, but I do and as far as I'm concerned you've already passed the most important stage.

Being out to everybody is definitely a nice goal to have, but it matters a lot more that you're now able to be yourself around your best friends and your brother -- they are your real family. The rest is just gravy.

 

If you are put on a pedestal and don't know why, it tells a lot about your character. It tells me that you are a very kind and selfless individual who cares about the good in this world. That is something to be proud about.

 

That's what we're here for. I agree that sometimes you need to lean on others.

It's sad that because people look up to you, they don't think you have any problems and hence the same people aren't much help. But we're here.

Are you comfortable talking about what is affecting you?

 

Why don't you try to tell us. EC is a very supportive place. I've personally experienced support here.

 

You don't have to be. I'm sure we'll be able to understand what your going through. It's a slow process, but a process all the same. Try to tell us what's wrong. We can help you through it.

 

I haven't heard the story about your brother. Is there a link to a post where I can find out more? I'd like to help if I can.

 

I'm sorry that my feedback seems to upset you rather than help; that definitely isn't my intention. I will refrain from commenting further, but I really do hope you figure out how to come out fully and find happiness. Best of luck.

 

It's not an easy thing to do and I was around your age when I did it. Hope everything goes well for you

 

It DID take courage at your age to become a full time guardian for your brother and accept the responsibilities that come with doing so. Yes good siblings look out for each other but not many 20 year Oldsmobile would do what you did

 

Don't feel pathetic. I've been there and it's not a good feeling. Not at all. Feel positive. You were brave enough to try and tell you friend. That's really good.

How did Katie take it? What did she say? You said she guessed it, I hope that means she took it positively.

Don't feel hopeless. If you think all your female friends will take it positively, that's really good. You have a support system right there. And that's great!

(*hug*)