Hi. I am new to EC (but have lurked here for a while). I haven't came out to many people, besides a few friends and my parents. My grandparents are conservative Christians who I assume to be homophobic, but they have never directly told me their thoughts on homosexuality. But my grandfather has said "That's disgusting!" when he saw gay relationships on TV, so I am pretty sure he is homophobic. A part of me wants to tell them, but another part of me is hesitant. I don't want them to get upset or be angry at me. I'm already not the closest to my grandparents and I don't want to completely ruin my relationship with them. I am not sure what my motivation is for telling them, but I guess I don't want them to be as shocked when they found out I am dating someone. Should I just bite the bullet and tell them? Or wait?
Don't tell them - at least not yet. Perhaps it would be best to subtly bait them into showing their feelings about LGBT+ subjects, since you're not sure of their views on the matter. Knowing their views means you can make a accurate judgement on whether to tell them or not.
My parents are in a bit of denial about it, but they overall accept it. They are Christians, but are not homophobic. I did talk to my mom about it, but she was against me telling them--at least for now. But she also told me that it was up to me and that if I chose to then she would be there for me. I guess she is afraid of their reaction to it. ---------- Post added 1st Jan 2016 at 04:46 PM ---------- I forgot to mention in my post that their son (my uncle) is gay and he is not allowed to bring his boyfriend over and he has said that they were against it but still loved him anyway. I still will do what you said just to be sure.
That's very good of your Mom. I wouldn't tell your grandparents at this point. You don't owe them an explanation really. I think if you were close to your grandparents, my opinion would be different.
I actually found that my grandparents were far more accepting than my parents. They have less of a reason to feel shame and disappointment and more life experience, their approach was "do and be what makes you happy" and "If you're happy then we support you". I know my grandparents really well and I guess what I'm trying to say is that you never know how someone is going to respond. I guess the real question is do you want them to know? Do they deserve/need/have the right to know? You obviously have more of an insight in to their stance on the LGBT community and you need to trust your gut (and your parents!). Either way, whatever you choose, good luck with it!
Thank you all for your advice. I don't think I will tell them right now since I'm too scared too and I don't think I need to at the moment.
