i was at a party tonight and there was this girl who seems to like me, we slept together a couple of times last year and she's always making excuses to talk to me and invite me round. the thing is she's really pretty and all my friends can't understand why i don't get with her. they keep telling me i am an idiot for not saying yes. and she would be awesome to go out with and we get on really well. but for the last year i've been kind of seeing a guy. i think he's really hot and always think about him. but he doesn't want a relationship. i think he basically just wants a f**kbuddy. he actually kicks me out of his place when we are done (not literally but he really doesn't like it when i stay over). there isn't really a lot of emotional attachment - or maybe there is but he doesn't want anything permanent because he is still really attached to his previous boyfriend. i can't really see that changing. i've been seeing him for a year but his facebook status is still 'single' even though we see each other like twice a week. i really want to go out him permanently - but realistically it's not going to happen. whereas if i went out with the girl i know it would be much more of a two-way relationship. so what do i do? put up with a second class relationship with a guy i really like? or try to make something of it with the girl who i know is an awesome chick? tonight i started telling her about him, obviously without telling her that i have been seeing him. i really want to tell her about him. but then i get confused and think she's hot and wonder why i don't just go out with her. it's so confusing. i wish i was just 100% stright or 100% gay. but i think i am about here: [GAY---------X---------------------STRAIGHT] sorry this is a really rambling post. i guess my point is - would you go out with someone you really liked if they weren't prepared to 'formalise' it as being their boyfriend, and who doesn't want a deeper relationship?
Well i think that if hes not interested in something real and you are that you should stop seeing him. You aren't getting much in return and its not fair to you. After cutting things off with him then i guess you have to see if you want to date this girl, who knows you may not be into her the way she is to you (you are kinda like the boy in your other relationship with her). Maybe you just need to find completely new people to start something with? idk good luck with choosing and such
It seems that things with your bf ( if you can call him that) are not going to change. From what you are saying he still has feelings for his ex. As long as this is a case nothing will progress with your relationship. I would talk to him and tell him what you want. If he does not want to give you the emotional support you need then I would go out with the girl.
Yeah, I'm with Dino on this one. "None of the above." The guy sounds like he enjoys the sex, and maybe some company. But if that's it after a year, that's probably all it's gonna be. The girl sounds nice, but there's a decided lack of enthusiasm on your part. You've hung out with her, you've had sex with her, and, y'know, shrug. You may feel about her the way your guy feels about you. No big deal. I'd look elsewhere. Someone who you really click with, where you can both be into each other. Lex
I don't think either is a good option. The guy you've been seeing doesn't seem like he wants the same thing out of the relationship that you do, and from thesounds of it, he won't be able to make you happy. You don't sound that interested in the girl, and there's no way to manufacture feelings that aren't there. If I were in your situation, I'd be single for a while, and see if I could find someone who I could have a more mutual relationship with.
Same here - your situation is not 'binary'. It isn't one or the other. It's him, or her, or ANY OTHER PERSON OUT THERE!! It sounds to me like you need to allow yourself to be a little more 'out' and expose yourself to other guys that might be more emotionally available to you. The guy you're seeing might be the only guy you've spent much time with, but that doesn't make him the only guy around. I don't think forcing yourself to be with this girl is the answer. It won't resolve how you feel about being with guys. Good luck. Get out there!
