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Should I come out to my mildly homophobic dad?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by DragonsInSpace, Jan 2, 2016.

  1. DragonsInSpace

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    So, my family doesn't know I'm a lesbian. Only some of my friends know. But my dad keeps talking about future boyfriends and asking when I'm "going to get a man". And as anyone who's queer and in the closet knows, that crap gets pretty annoying after a while. I just wanna say "No, dad, that's not gonna happen. I like girls. I'm gay." But I'm sort of afraid to.

    Problem is though, he's a bit homophobic. He isn't religious, so it isn't because of religious beliefs or something, he just thinks it's unnatural. And he tends to insult gay people when he sees them on tv or anything, often referring to gay men as fairies. -_- However, he has asked me in the past if I'm gay (this was before I even started questioning) and said that he would still love me if I was. So I'm not sure how he would react, really. He doesn't seem to hate us with a burning passion the way some people do. Like I said in the title, it's more like mild homophobia.

    So what do you think? Should I come out to him? It could really go either way, I just wanted other opinions on it. I'm 16, btw.
     
  2. JiminyJordy

    JiminyJordy Guest

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    I would probably give it some time. Do whatever behind closed doors but since you're only 16, I'd keep it pretty hush hush. You're still really young. It's alright for your father to think you're just not interested in guys yet. No rush.
     
    #2 JiminyJordy, Jan 2, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2016
  3. DragonsInSpace

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    I suppose you're right. I might tell my mum (parents are divorced and don't live together so there's no way he'd find out) because she supports the lgbtq community and would be fine with it. I just feel like someone in my family should know, I dont really like keeping it from them.
     
  4. alli o

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    Tell your mom first if she supports it! However if you really need to tell your dad and he told you he would be fine with it I would go for it! As long as you feel you will be 100% safe that is the most important factor...
     
  5. JiminyJordy

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    I completely understand. Friends and family members are on completely different spectrums as far as emotional support is concerned. If you have a brother or sister to tell that would be great. It's good to hear about your mom's feelings towards the LGBT community. She should be able to serve as a great ally for you.

    Just take as much time as you need to though.
     
  6. DragonsInSpace

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    I dont doubt that I would be safe, he'd maybe just not be very supportive of it. It's hard to tell. But yeah, I'll tell Mum sometime. Should I just bring it up at random sometime or how do you think I should go about it?

    ---------- Post added 2nd Jan 2016 at 03:22 PM ----------

    I'm an only child but I have a pansexual friend who I told. Yeah, I'm glad mum supports the community too. :slight_smile: