Hello! This seems a very selfish first post, and I am sorry, but I am no arbiter of advice, I must say... So. Um. I'm 21, lesbian/gay/etc, and I just came out to my parents. I had a whole speech planned, complete with puns and references and a list of reasons why they should still love me. I got about 2 seconds past the "So, guys, this is a conversation I've wanted to have for a while...", to which my mother replied "Just please don't tell me you are a lesbian" and walked out of the room. I actually have no clue what the hell to do. I am out to my friends, but, barring one closeted bisexual, they are all straight and can't give any advice more than "She's in denial, it'll get better". I love them to bits and bite-sized pieces, but...yeah. Halp.
Ouch. Perhaps you should just ask your parents to at least hear you out. Tell them that you've prepared a speech and everything. If that doesn't work then try giving them a little time. Hope this helps a little.
Hey there, First of all let me say that I love your choice of nickname. I think it's the scene of any Disney movie that's made me laugh the hardest. Second of all: Congratulations on having the courage to make an attempt at coming out! Don't worry, more chances will come. My mother had a hard time accepting that I'm a lesbian too. My dad was much more understanding, and everyone else in my family, but my mom's having an issue with my orientation was painful for a while. Obviously, I can't tell you how your situation will pan out or what to do, but let me just say that to me, my mother's resistance to accepting my orientation became a point of resistance for me. It became the first real obstacle and challenge to accept, love and be myself regardless of my mom's opinion: this was not about her, it was about me. And that goes for your situation too: this is not about your mother, it is about you. It's your orientation, your body, your feelings, not hers, and it is unfair of her to expect you to conform to what she wants you to be. You are not responsible for her expectations for you and your life, nor for the future she probably has imagined for you. You are responsible for yourself and for living as authentically and honestly as you can. So stick to who you are and don't let anyone keep you in the closet. The reality of who you truly are is so much more important than her fantasy for your life, and it would be selfish of her to think otherwise. So! Here's your challenge: Tell her and set your boundary—this is yours, not hers. Unless she's a really horrible person, I'm sure she will come around in time. It's probably just denial.
This is a really, really, reeeeally good answer. Thank you so ridiculously much. ---------- Post added 3rd Jan 2016 at 03:35 PM ---------- Quick update: So, I haven't managed to corner my mother into restarting the conversation. I tried calling and texting her, but I am pretty sure she is intentionally keeping her phone off. However, I did manage to talk to my dad. At first, he seemed completely understanding. He said I was his daughter no matter what, and he was proud of me for facing my sexuality. BUT. Shortly afterward, he began talking about "how changing my course (meaning sexuality) could cause a lot of problems for my future." When I tried to explain that being gay is NOT a choice, and that I didn't start off straight and slowly morph into a lesbian, he shut down and seemed confused. The more I tried to explain the mechanics of sexuality, the more he drew back. This wouldn't concern me as much as it does, but he is the only one my mother would ever talk to about me. If he is confused about even the basics (and refuses to understand), then so too will she. I am so sorry to draw out the angst, guys, but I am at a loss. Any and all advices or nudges in a direction would be reciprocated with soooooo many virtual hugs.
express the speech you've written in a form of a letter, that way what you say can't be interrupted and she can think about I long after until you decide to speak to her next
