I have been out to my parents since june, and my brother and sister in law found out this fall. They have been accepting of my sexuality. However, alot of my family are very conservatives, or old fashioned. I still kind of feel like I am in the closet more so then out of it, because most of my family remain in the dark. I dont want to go behind the back of those who don't know, but I cant bring myself to telling them outright because I still am quite nervious how some of them would take it. Should I just push those thoughts aside, and consider just starting to go out and start becoming part of the local gay culture in my area? I recently started a job, and so I can afford to be social. I think we have a resturant/pub in the area that was started to be a place for LBGT people to gather for a safe, unjudgemental, social enviorment, so I was considering looking into that place. I also am looking into clubs and organizations at my collage. I havent had much luck, as we dont seem to have many, and the closet I think was a club that discusses equel rights issues. it might be a way to get involved with like minded people on equel rights, but I think it is a broader scope then just LBGT rights.
You're out to your parents and siblings. Have you talked to any of them about this? I would imagine that your parents would have some idea how the rest of the family would react. Actually,as long as your parents accept you,I wouldn't worry too much about the rest. You deserve happiness and to live your life the way you were meant to. I'm sure other people don't ask your opinion about who they choose to love. So,talk to your parents,if you haven't already and get their take on this. Congratulations on the coming out you've done so far.
I'm unsure of what you mean by going behind the back of the relatives that don't know - are these close relatives and would you tell them about your girlfriends if you were straight? It wouldn't be a traitorous thing or anything against your conservative relatives to start dating guys you are interested in. It's your own life; you don't owe it to anyone to behave in any way if you're not harming anyone. If you're concerned about them finding out - and that's why you don't want to start dating other men - I agree with speaking to your immediate family about the issue first. They would probably have a lot more input about how your other relatives would act than we could know about.
I really dont think I would just jump into dating, but I have started looking around for social groups because it feels like I need to at least break out of my shell a little bit. A part of me feels like if I just start going out and introducing myself to others as Gay, and not just as Cory, I might be able to build up my confidence about telling my more conservative family members about my sexuality. I have a cousin on my dad's side who just had her first child with her partner, and was devestated when at thanksgiving, while I was sitting with my sister in law on the couch, and behind us, my grandmother on my mother's side was like "what gives her the right to raise a child." My sister in law glanced at me with a very knowing look that made me very sure she knew what was going through my mind at that moment. I just didnt turn around, because my aunt and uncle were also sitting at the table, and my aunt is very conservative also * she gets angry when people blame bush for having a hand in the economic trouble*. My uncle would probably be very accepting, and my cousin might stumble for half a second in surprise of my sexuality, but we are close, and I think she would then simply shrug it off and it wouldnt change our relationship to much.
I have been dating a guy for a month or so and I am not fully out. He knows my situation and has been very supportive. None of my family knows. I am however in the process of coming out to them. PFLAG is a good group to get involved with.
