Should I come out when I go to Uni?

I'm planning to be open about my sexuality from the start, but I'm pretty much totally out already. I'd say it's a good idea to be out from the start if you feel comfortable with it, but if you were, would it get back to someone you wouldn't want to find out?

 

I think at uni its a lot easier to be open with it. You're meeting a lot of people for the first time so it's a good opertunity to meet other GLTB people too! Nobody that isnt here at uni with me knows that Im unsure of my sexuality or anything like that, its at uni that I've been able to open up about that kind of thing. I think its a really good opertunity to do it. But if you dont feel ready dont feel like you have to do it.

 

Yeah, you can start off relationships with people having them know that way if they aren't chill with it you realize they aren't the kind of people you want to hang out with

 

It's kinda the perfect transition point at which to come out. Generally people make a lot of new friends at university and it's usually a lot easier starting out with people knowing you're gay than it is having to tell them in some way, shape, or form later. People knowing from the start means they don't have to revise their internal "image" of you, which is usually the tricky part for people.

Also if you're doing it when meeting a whole bunch of new people, you often have the opportunity to do it more casually, so when someone says, "Do you think she's hot?" you can say, "Actually I'd rather do her boyfriend" (and other fun situations like that). Then the awkwardness is on the other person for having assumed you're straight (although to be fair, that is the default assumption for a reason). Still, I always find it mildly amusing when it's straight people who have to face up to the bias of their assumptions because generally most of them go through life not realizing there is this huge unspoken bias. But then, I'm feisty that way.

One thing coming out in university did for me (although I didn't come out when I first started--apparently I've always been a bit of a late-bloomer) is that it gave me a much smaller, more intimate community with which to hang out at university. Given my university is super-huge and impersonal, that was a real bonus; I definitely didn't have any attachment/school spirit for the first two years I was at university when I was still in the closet because it's mainly a commuter school and, like I said, big and easy to get lost in. When I got involved in the GLBTQ group at uni, it was like *poof* (ha ha, yes, I'm sure all the British people found that funny) all of the sudden I cared about my community and felt a lot more like I belonged and had some stake in my school and my social environment. I think it's really important to make those kinds of community connections while in uni, although granted it doesn't have to be through a gay group... it could be some other cause or interest. It was just the most natural fit for me. Plus it helps with the dating thing. :lol:

 

From what I hear it's a perfect time. People gain a sudden increase in maturity by the mere fact that they are in college and there's a stigma of maturity associated with it. At least that's how it is in America, there are bullies (verbal and physical) in high school but I have never seen any in college. Then again maybe bullies are the type who tend not to make it to college Either way its better for you.

And you will have a lot more fun being open and being able to make friends with other non-heteros and possibly do some dating!

 

If your ready to come out, then go for it. Be open from the start when you get there. People at college are much more accepting than those in high school. Many are more liberal than the people from high school.

But if your not comfortable with the idea of coming out yet, then don't. Wait until your ready.

 

Do it! It's great! All the friends I made in college are through me coming out and attending GLBT Awareness meetings.

Of course, it also may depend on the homophobia level of the school you're attending. I go to a Liberal Arts college and of course it's very accepting. It's a gay oasis in a conservative town! Are you going to a liberal or tolerant school?

 

My opinion~
I think that if you want to come out, you should. You shouldn't be asking us, you should be asking yourself if you're ready! Really, it's your decision.

 

I am going to start college in the fall, and I am just going to be out there. But then again I am going to an INCREDIBLY gay friendly school, so you should be the judge of what is right for you.

But if you are ready to come out, go ahead! Good Luck!

 

I've been living at home, going to community college/junior college for the past year and a half. In August I'm transferring to a university that's located in a very liberal town. I plan on coming out then.

I think it's a good time, because you're not living with your parents (altho, you're already out to your parents). It's also good because you're not with the same people that you've gone to school with forever, so it won't be the biggest gossip that so and so is gay. People most likely are more willing to meet new people.

 

That's exactly what I was going to say. It's a new start with new friends in an environment that is likely to be more accepting, so I think it's the perfect time to do so.

It's not really a big coming-out then, you are gay from day one so tell people as necessary and don't make a big deal of it. It'll probably happen as and when people make assumptions of straightness; you can correct them and carry on the conversation without it being a big deal.

Although not at uni, I had such a case in the pub the other night. One of the girls behind the bar (who was obviously trying to play cupid) asked if I fancied the female owner, probably because I'd been chatting to her earlier. I said that I didn't, she asked why not and I said "because I'm gay". She was slightly surprised for a moment and asked "are you really?", I said "yes", and then she went on to saying how the pub owner needed a good man (obviously then knowing it wasn't going to be me).

If you can deal with situations that way as they arise, right from day one, you should be able to be out and accepted without it ever being a big issue.

 

I agree with the others and would add only to find the GLBT center when you reach campus. They are an amazing resource and great way to meet people.

I came out when I left the area I lived in for several years. It was much easier and by being frank from the start I met some amazing people.

Feeling free to say who you are is one of the most powerful experiences one can have so enjoy it!