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Advice on coming out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by asdf1988, Jan 5, 2016.

  1. asdf1988

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    I am not planning my coming out yet. I am posting this in order to give some general advice and expose my point of view about coming out. I am free for every discussion disagreements or whatever.
    First of all , coming out to friends family , work etc it is something that sets you free in many ways. So it is good not for people to know about you but for you not to be ashamed of your self.
    The time of coming out is a really personal thing. The first advice given to me was to come out only when i am 100% financially independent. Parents reaction is unpredictable so you need to be ready for everything.
    So start with your true friends and sometime your parents will know. They doesnt need to know everything.
    Last, be absolutely sure about what you will say and read some thing before. You have to look serious and able to answer to every question because you cant take the words back or look indecisive.
    These are my thoughts about coming out.
     
  2. Ram90

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    This.

    I totally agree with this point. From personal experience, I definitely want to come out to them when I'm financially independent, have a place to go to of my own and when I have some experience with my sexuality and relationships.
     
  3. Bibliovian

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    Sounds like you're really thinking this out. I think that's brilliant. I will tell you: my partner is 36 and still not completely financially independent of her parents. Not because she can't stand on her own feet, but because she will always take the option of extra money when available and now she's accustomed to that extra income. We'd be okay without it - just less luxury.

    You'd be surprised how resilient people can be when necessary. I lost my home, had to crash places and then got my own place.

    I also went the friends first route when telling people. Well one friend. Then sister, then husband (ugh), then parents, then other siblings, then other friends. I did it all in one day though. Called it my "Coming Out Tour". I wanted to tell everyone who should hear it directly from me. I figured everyone else could find out how ever. I really didn't care.

    Coming out is exhausting. Just absolutely tolling. I can't even explain how done I was by the end of that day. HOWEVER, every single person's response was better than what I had planned for in my head. I think we tend to imagine the worst possible scenario when that's not always the case.

    But I'm glad you are planning it out. I think you're making the decisions that are right for you. Everyone's story is SO different. I wish you the best of luck! Let me know if I can help at all.
     
  4. asdf1988

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    Yeah..every story, every person is different,every society is different. My main point is that coming out breaks free every person, its like you get rid of a weight BUT specially young teens who feel pressed and cant handle the pressure from their parents... just be careful and patient. Dont be so furious and over excited about this. I feel really depressed when i read stories about homeless gay teens. So just be strong first. And if you feel frustrated there are friends and therepists to express yoir feelings.
    As for me one reason that i fight to be fully independent is the coming out sometime in the future..
     
  5. ForNarnia

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    The advice that I never thought to give was the advice that helped me most:-

    If you didn't want to come out to a certain group of people, you never have to.


    People always ask when I'm coming out to my parents, but the truth is, I don't see why they need to know. I don't discuss relationships with them, I didn't like the whole 'meet the parents' thing and I don't want to put up with my homophobic dad.
    Maybe one day, I will come out to them, but it's comforting to know that it's something I choose to do, not something I NEED to do.