Okay, so I gave myself some time to think it over while I was away from the stress of school etc. And I decided that I really would like to come out to a good friend of mine who is openly bisexual. I feel like she would be really supportive, wouldn't tell anyone if I came out in confidence, and she's a good friend, but I still get super nervous at the thought because the whole idea of being bisexual is still very scary to me. But here's my dilemma (Although it kind of sounds like a silly question on here): This friend doesn't go to my school and I don't see her regularly, so in order to have this conversation, I need to set up a time (invite her for coffee, something like that, etc). I'm not sure if I should give her any idea when I ask her to meet up of what I'm going to say (or just come out in that message), or if I should just wait and do it in person. I don't want to blindside her with this when we talk, or lose my courage and just not say anything, but I also would feel weird about coming out in a text or fb message. One other thing--I think she might already know or have guessed that I'm not straight. She's never said anything, but I've always been a little uncomfortable with my sexuality even before I started officially questioning it to myself, and I get the feeling that she's sensed that. But I could be making it up. Sorry for the super long post about kind of a silly question, but I would so appreciate any advice you all have
Its right to think that you should come out in person, since she herself is a part of the lgbt community it would be fine to tell her! So just meet up some place private , like probably a park or somewhere, where you arent likely to run into someone amidst the whole thing! If you feel you would loose courage and not tell her , then think whether you are ready for it! Not to overwhelm you, often once you come out, it becomes very real, I.e its no longer a thought in your head , it becomes a part of your identity! So make sure you are ready! One way to make sure that you wouldn't loose courage and back out is by telling her in advance that you want to talk to her about something personal! That way you aren't coming out to her over the phone/message and she will ask you about it when you meet up, so you can't back out! Since she is lgbt herself and given that you think she may know, I'd encourage you to go ahead! Because she could be very helpful with the whole process of figuring out yourself and accepting yourself!
I completely agree with Fighter694. I actually used that method when first coming out to some of my friends. I have a friend who is about 15 years older than me and a lesbian. She always told me she didn't think I was straight, and I always denied it even though deep down I knew she was right. After about 3 years of close friendship and really getting to know this person, she became sort of a mentor to me. She was the first person I told and she has been my go to person for advice and has been such a supporter. Once you do tell this person, I hope that she may can serve as this kind of mentor to you. It definitely made things a little easier for me when I had questions that were embarrassing or too personal to ask other people. Best of luck to you. You'll be amazed at how much better you feel when you finally do it and have someone you can talk to that understands you!!
Yes, Yes, Yes to all of the above, be ready for the weight of your discovery to be lifted from your shoulders, It feels so good. - J
Fighter694 nailed it. Tell her you have something personal to talk to her about so you cant back away...if youre ready! I did the same thing when i came out to my therapist, i told her i needed to talk to her about something personal and dont allow me to weasel out of it when i see you.
Thank you all so much for the responses! It's helpful to know that this is a good idea. Any advice on how to bring up the subject?
