Hey all! I'm new here, I've been silently creeping the place out for a while now, and finally got the guts to speak up myself. I am 22 years old and am like 99.999999999999% sure I am gay. I believe the only reason I'm not putting 100% is just because part of me is still scared. I feel like I'm finally ready to start coming out. I'm lucky enough (I hope!) to have a very supportive family, regardless of what is going on. I know my dad is super open about sexuality. Often he will be over at my place visiting and will ask if I have a boyfriend, when I say no he asks if I have a girlfriend. I always answer no and that's the end of the conversation. I know he's saying it in a dad-joke kind of way but I really hope that that is his way of letting me know it's ok. I'm not as nervous to come out to him but I want to do so in person and he works away. I think the right thing for me and m situation would be to come out to my mom first. We have always had a very close relationship, and are more like best friends (now that I'm coming out of the angsty teen years). Because we are so close I don't want to hurt her if I come out to my dad first (I know he would pass it along because he's not very good at keeping things like that to himself). I have the opportunity to the next couple days as we are spending some mother daughter time together. I'm just terrified and nervous and a tad excited at the idea. I just don't have the slightest of clues as to how to go about it. I don't want to write a letter as for our relationship it feels a little impersonal? Just me. But I don't think I can keep it together long enough to actually have a big speech or something planned? Any thoughts/input are greatly appreciated!!! Thanks! Melissa
Agreed, if you feel your dad will spill the beans, telling mom first. As a dad, I can tell you that I would want you to share this with me personally, I would not want to hear this from my wife. If your dad is already prompting you with the boyfriend/girlfriend question, I would not be surprised if he already assumes that you may be gay. I always think that it is funny when children think that their parents are oblivious to who they are. I hope that you will be pleasantly surprised - J
Update...I told her this afternoon. We were out for lunch at our favorite Chinese food restaraunt and it was completely empty. I wasn't planning to tell her today. I was thinking tomorrow or Saturday when neither of us had to work. After our meal I opened my fortune cookie and I kid you not, the paper inside read "An important discussion involving you will take place today." We got home and just as she was about to go into her house I kind of just blurted it at her, told her not to give me a response and we would both head to our afternoon at work and maybe talk when we get home. She just looked so crushed and heartbroken when I told her. I almost wish I hadn't. Im so scared to get home after work now. What do I do? Anyone else have instant regret after coming out the first time?
Yeah, I'm in a similar situation. I came out to my mom yesterday as trans, and she didn't take it well at all. Honestly, I thought she would have been completely okay with it, but she started yelling at me. Afterwards, I talked to two of my closest friends, and they certainly were there to support me. I'd just kind of ride the wave and give your mom some space. Talking to other people definitely helps as well. Sorry I don't have anything more to give you, I'm still struggling on my own. I hope this helps a little.
