See, I hate the idea of having no control over something. Such as no control over who I'm attracted to. There's a part of me who still thinks I could be attracted to whoever I want by just controllin the way I think and feel. Crazy right? Well I still think I made myself become lesbian. Is that possible? After having one bad experience after another with guys I told myself I would only like girls. And I think that this persistent convincing myself that guys suck and woman are lovely is what drove me to become gay??? Or than again, did I have bad experiences with guys because I was gay to begin with? What do you guys think? Is it a fact that we are born gay? Or do you guys think we can have some sort of control over who were attracted to? Also, do you think our surrounding can play a big part on who were attracted to? Such as media, our society, the way we were brought up, etc???
I think it has to do with hormones. It was mentioned in a thread a while back that the more older sibilings you have, the bigger the possibility you have to be gay. Personally, I think the mother's womb can't produce the correct hormones for a child after a certain amount of births, making later born children gay. I also read a study that my ex-stepmom gave me about twins that said the womb gives most of the proper hormones to one child and leaves the other without lacking, making one gay and one straight, which is what happened to my brother and I. How truethful it is though, I don't know.
Sugar, I think its possible especially with women that they can choose to be gay but most will tell you they were born that way. I talked to a young girl once who had lesbian experiences because of bad experiences with men but realized she wasn't really as attracted to women as she was to men. I don't think surroundings or media have anything to do with it. Anyway, why should it even matter? If we are lucky enough in this life to find somebody we love with our whole hearts, who the hell cares if they are the same sex?
Hey Sugar, I know people who have definitely claimed to have chosen. I agree with beckyg, though, in that at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why we fall for someone (unless you keep falling for unhealthy relationship choices, which is kinda a totally different thing). As for hating not having control--well, oh boy! :eek: You might have some issues with big chunks of life, then, because a whole hell of a lot of it is completely out of our control. It's definitely a scary thing, really. I don't think many people deal with it particularly well but I definitely think it's well addressed by the serenity prayer: grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. (And an extra-special friend to help me hide the bodies of those who get in my way. :lol All three actual parts of that are incredibly hard. However, they tend to be very gratifying when you achieve or partially achieve them. I always try to approach it from an efficiency perspective: the less energy I waste trying to change the unchangeable (or freaking out about the unchangeable) is simply the more energy I have to change the things that actually can be changed. Sometimes I manage, sometimes I don't. And that, pretty much, is life in a nutshell.
I used to think that my being gay was because of sumthin that happened to me but know i realise that growing up i always seemed to ahve a'crush' in every grade but the fact was i was just friends with all the guys. i've never been really girly. so i guess that's just how i am. my bi ex girlfriend "K.M." thinks that she is bi because she's sick of guys being so mean to her. i think that you were bown that way. i don't know about teh hormone thing, nor do i beleive in a 'gay gene'. i think that you are who you are. is there really genes that determine your favorite color? i think it falls the same way.
yah you guys are right, it doesn't matter WHY you fall for someone. The problem is i would like to keep an open mind and be open to fall for anyone, but each time a guy approaches me, I don't give it a chance anymore, it's like I've lost complete interest..or hope? Ah, I have to stop waiting for people to make moves on me and just go hit on people. I'm so shy lol hmm this gives me an idea for a new thread hehe
I WISH I had control over who I'm attracted to. I am REALLY attracted to someone at work (female). She is gay, but she is also taken permanently (married). So, I would like to control the fact I am incredibly attracted to a married women!
I think its possible to make yourself a lesbian. Its proven that a man who visualizes making a shot from the 3 point line all day vs. a man who practices it are about equal at making the shots. So its possible I would say. Maybe thats why some people are gay? I heard somewhere that all competent( even some that arent) males think of sexual relations with another male. Maybe those who are gay just have a more stable sense of reality and competence thus the homosexuality is born? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.
in my opinion, good theory with one flaw. shots on a basketball court have nothing to do with the amygdala or nucleaus accumbens. when you add the intense sexual and emotional feelings, it add a whole different dynamic to the issue being look at.
But why add then? there is no need for such tension when visualizing yourself shooting a basketball into the hoop.
