So I've made huge strides in terms of coming out. I told my immediate family and even some extended family, and most of my closets friends know. I was just hanging out with an old friend of mine over the weekend, though, and I was thinking oh great I can tell him now, too. But I didn't. I'm not sure why I didn't exactly, but I think partly it was because he didn't ask if I was dating anyone, in which case I would have told him I was recently dating a guy. But I think the other part of me was just feeling drained of having to constantly tell people about it and see how they react, and I just felt like hanging out with him like old times without having to feel like I needed to make some kind of "confession." On the other hand he was asking me questions about girls and stuff and I felt like I was being a little phony by not just telling him that I'm not into girls. Has anyone else experienced this when first coming out?
Early on I came out to a lot of people and then let it sit. So my immediate family & close friends knew. Then when an old friend or extended family member would come around this aspect would be totally awkward. After about 2 years of that, I had enough and did a massive Facebook post / email to basically everyone else and told them to tell whoever I might have forgotten (see link below). I really haven't had to come out since. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/186863-finally-came-out-facebook.html
I don't feel the need to tell anyone around me, unless they specifically ask me about it or they ask stuff like "don't you think this guy is cute?" (I would just say "Nah, I'm more into girls" then). I don't want people to make a big deal out of it. Except for my grandma, I never really "came out" to anyone but still my family and friends know about it, since I never made a secret out of it either.
At some point I wanted to just somehow magically transport the knowledge to everyone's head. Then I got tired of thinking that I had to inform everyone about my sexual orientation. I haven't come out since my friends and an instagram post I made. If I'm in a situation where it's talked about or anything like that I might mention it.
Being out is great, but coming out to people is the worst. It's almost always awkward even when they're really supportive and accepting. I have a pretty big group of mutual friends. I'm closer to some more than others, so didn't tell them all at once. The ones who did know always nagged me saying "when are you going to tell so-and-so??!". I'd go into hanging out with them planning on telling them and usually wimp out at first. There's rarely that moment that seems natural to bring it up. Sometimes you just have to bring it up out of nowhere. I feel your pain. Once all the important people know it gets easier. Now I just have to come out to distant friends, coworkers or other people who aren't a big part of my life and it's no big deal.
I appreciate the responses. Good to know there are a variety of ways of dealing with this. Tbh I'm just so glad and almost still in disbelief that I finally came out to my Dad and he was cool with it (after years and years of agonizing over telling him :dry. Telling pretty much anyone else is child's play compared to that, but still, it gets draining :sleep:
